i am a boy with shiny nails. on my hands, but only for tonight and for last night also. i didn't really want to have shiny nails, and if i could i would get rid of them...but i can't. so i have shiny nails. of course, having shiny nails has opened me up to much ridicule, especially from my brother but i umm...kinda like them. i don't suppose it's *right* for me to be happy with having my nails shiny, or for me to tilt my fingers upwards and admire them. and occasionally giggle about them, then feel a sense of deep shame which follows quickly. they're not very practical either, whenever they're in the light they glare back at me like mirrors do in the sun. so i have to squint when i type because there is a lamp just above my keyboard and there's no letting up. i suppose i should mention why my nails are shiny. it's a result of "too much christmas" as my friend put it. i'm not sure what that means exactly, but i think it's something to do with just generally being silly and having fun. i was at her house, giving her the present i got her and her little sister showed me her presents. one of them was a beauty kit, which i think is slightly inappropriate for an 8 year old girl. then she said that she couldn't test on animals so i'd do instead (ha!). so she then proceeded to do stuff with stuff then apply some liquid or whatever, then she was finished. i suppose i was trying to almost humor her by letting her do this, then i was going to wash it off afterwards. but, when it came to washing it off it didn't come off. so i have been left with shiny nails. but, apparently it shouldn't last for more than 48 hours, which have nearly passed. so my period of having shiny, attractive nails is nearly over. and i can go back to being hard again. with dull nails. which don't shine. i don't know why i felt the need to mention all that. but i think that will be my only real significant memory of this christmas. and no doubt, when my friend's sister is older we can talk about it. and laugh. christmas was different this year, not in a bad way. it was just different. there was no real reason for it to be so, nothing major has changed over the last year. i think the whole period has just seemed to have passed too quickly, and i don't understand why. it all began in october when i saw the first christmas lights, and then by mid november santa's grotto was open. some people were talking about christmas being a horrible time for them and about how they felt stressed and lonely. i can understand that but i don't think i've ever felt it. i remember talking to somebody who said that there are two forms of loneliness. one, when you have no-one around and one when you have people around you but feel alone. the second one is something that scares me, and something i hope i never have to experience. then i was told that if that's the case you're probably just looking for someone. i started thinking about this because jimmy gilmer wrote "I was a lucky boy, Santy brought me a certain pretty girl this year". heh...i know i'm being a bit silly here. i thought that was the best present you could ever get, apart from maybe a nerf gun. so i was thinking, santa could do something really great here. if he brought us all someone special instead of socks we'd all be a lot happier. i think christmas is necessary though. the year would be so dull without it. there'd be nothing to look forward, and winters would just be even worse. i first started to appreciate it more when my brother left for uni. because it was great when he came back for christmas, then everyone would perk up and there'd be more people in the house apart from just me and my parents. then he started bringing his girlfriend home for christmas and then there'd be even more people in the house and it just got better. i don't know why christmas was different, my dad said he noticed it too. my christmas day started late, me being awoken by my brother coming into my room singing wham's 'last christmas' in his boxer shorts. it was quite funny really, he even got the george michael facial expressions right too. then we loitered round whilst my mum made dinner. which was nice, as it always is. after dinner there was the usual aftermath which involves lazing on the sofa watching crappy tv, which included the queen's speech. we had an invite to my aunt's that evening, and all my family were going to be there...uncles, cousins and such. i don't particularly dislike my family. they're nice enough people but when they're all together they just morph into...bleurgh. i'm not very good at making conversation so i absorbed theirs, which was harmless. it's too easy to tell when people are trying not to offend eachother. i then managed to slip away to my friend's house. i reckon friends are good at christmas, because they're people you actually choose to be with. we had a theme for our present exchanges this year, they had to be under £10 and ultra tacky. that was quite funny, i am now the pround owner of one of those fish tanks that have fake fish in them that are coloured in the most extreme pigments. there's two inside it, named 'arafat' and 'sharron'. my attempt at world peace. they only seem to move when you shake it. we went walking too, looking at everyone's lights and wondering how people can actually think they look good. eventually we passed the church near my old primary school where some local comedian had put a "closed for christmas" sign outside. --- Why is boxing day called boxing day? I could never figure it out. my dad made up some lame story about boxing matches and sailors then quit halfway through. that dvd sounds like a rather ace idea, i hope it materialises. i can remember watching some b&s videos on the rolling stone website if you're looking for some mr video blokey man. someone asked about the video for 'the wrong girl'. it's the one where stevie's in school and gets beaten up at the start...i think. hmm, i'm assuming the manchester bowling thing isn't going to happen now. ahh well, some other time maybe. perhaps i should sneak in some practice so i don't look like a complete fool if it ever does happen. there's rubbish where you look cute trying, and there's just rubbish. take care, nafees. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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