Dear little innocent Holly, straight out of the nursery and all wet behind the ears said

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It is so refreshing to come across a list where the biggest debate is not...who do you most want to shag

How long is it that newbies stay in the nursery these days? Two weeks? Does that mean there hasn't been any filth for TWO WHOLE WEEKS? Where are the Sinister smutmeisters when you need them? I feel the burden weighing heavily on my shoulders, but I'm far to good a girl to write about that sort of stuff. I might blush. I might blush even more than when I mentioned wanking in front of my manager this morning. You know when you get an email that makes you laugh out loud and then everybody around you asks "what's so funny?" and you're sort of obliged to explain? That's what happened today and the email mentioned the word 'wank'. So then, I became embroiled in a discussion about wanking in America and whether or not it exists, and I said "I think the word is not so frequently used, but as for the activity..." and it all got a bit embarrassing, see? And I hung my head in shame that my colleagues could hear me talking so. Now you see why I'm no good at writing smutty posts and why I'm burning up as I type this. And here I am, being an old miseryguts about the dearth of rude stuff, and into my inbox pops psychic Sam with

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naked people which will do for now.

But come on folks, spring is sprung! Birds are NESTING on the windowsill outside my bog! Bunny rabbits are presumably AT IT like, um, bunny rabbits up and down the country! I know it's Lent at the moment, but honestly! Sinister smutmeisters! Show us how it's done - make me snigger! And the rest of you, let me recommend an author called Georges Bataille, who is a master of all things rude. And I really do mean ALL things rude. Right, on to other stuff. Why does a brand new denim jacket cost £30 and a second-hand one £40 in Topshop, eh? What is this? Antiques Roadshow? When I was a kid, you wore second hand things because they were cheap, and then PRETENDED you were being groovy. Why, it wasn't unusual to mistake a student for a tramp, especially if they had a bottle of White Lightning in their hand. And what are those ridiculous new pantaloons that people are calling Levis? (Lucy shakes her stick and growls menacingly) Young'uns these days, really! Pass the Werthers Originals, will you? According to new research High Fidelity is a 'boy book'. I read this in Metro, so it must be true. Terry Hall was 41 on Sunday. Socialise with Pukka Pies. Juicy Lucy ps. according to my spellcheck, Topshop should be Topcon and Pukka should be Puke, which seems about right to me. -- This communication contains information which is confidential and may also be privileged. It is for the exclusive use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient(s), please note that any distribution, copying or use of this communication or the information in it is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and then destroy any copies of it. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+