Sorry about this, I just found the Dialectizer at http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/ and put in a little something using the 'Jive' settings (the elmer fudd one is good too, but pretty indecypherable) and I thought that you all just had to see it. WeeJay We wuz sittin' in de livin' room on de sofa, de wrong way round, lookin' out da damn window, so cut me some slack, Jack. It wuz quiet, and den in de wheels park across de road we saw Elvis - look, dere beside da damn postman's van, and he wuz walkin' round da damn postman's van, lookin' in de jimmey doo'. He looked as if he wuz dinkin' about digtin' in, but den de postman came back, and he swaggered off, walked past da damn window and waaay down de stairs, and den at da damn bottom uh de stairs right by de caresnatchr's office, he started lickin' de pavement. Man! Every night now since we moved in dat new crib dere's dis noise outside da damn doo' at plum about half seven o' eight o' clock every night. Man! And if we go and look outside da damn doo', Elvis'll be standin' dere waitin' t'be let in. 'S coo', bro. And den he wanders into de livin' room, maybe sits waaay down on one uh de chairs o' even lies waaay down on de floo'. He duzn't say much, he plum stays dere fo' an hour o' two, watchin' de TV. We rap t'him some bit, and den around ten o' clock, he'll go away again, and not mosey on down back until de next night. Man! Dere's some lot uh lanes and stuff around here, around da damn crib - aldough it's right in de middle uh de city it seems quite likes de country, it's wasted hidden - safe ah' suppose, made fo' night livin'. Dere's some lot uh squirrels and birds, and Stuart says he's seen about nine foxes dere when he's jumped upside de fence on his way t'Prio''s Road. Sometimes ya' kin go out walkin', and when ya''ve been out fo' some wee while even ya' duzn't know where ya' is no mo', so's it would be fine hard fo' any sucka else t'find ya'. ah' suppose dat's why he spends so's much time dere, dat's why he's mosey on down to live dere, o' maybe it's plum de squirrels. ah' read about somewhere dat he likess squirrels quite some lot. Man! Dere's dese two videos dat we gots fo' weddin' presents - called da damn e-stashs, e-stashs one and e-stashs two about how Elvis be supposed t'be still alive. And one time when he came round we wuz watchin' one uh dose, but he dun didn't say nuthin he plum sat on de armchair. He wuz playin' wid his collar some bit, and we watched it right drough and den when it finished he plum gots down and walked off into de mist and dun didn't say nuthin. de fust few times he came round ah' dun didn't rap t'him at all, ah' wuzn't real sho' man whut t'say. Slap mah fro! And Karen rapped t'him quite some lot - she seemed t'know whut t'do mo'e dan ah' do. 'S coo', bro. He had quite some funky manna' dough, he'd go into yo' stuff and look drough it, den he'd maybe pick sump'n down and play wid it fo' some wee while, but he'd neva' make any comment about any uh it. Man! Seemed fine rude t'me. ah' plum watched whuteva' Karen dun did, and listened t'how she raped t'him and den, afta' a while ah' started t'copy dat, and tell him some few doodads, not real bodered about wheda' he responded o' said nuthin back o' not. Man! ah' dink de fust time ah' rapped t'him we wuz sittin' down on de mezzanine and ah' said dat ah' would tell him about me and wee Karen, and how it wuz dat we'd mosey on down to be livin' dere. ah' dought he probably likesd da damn fact dat we wuz livin' dere cuz' he came round so's much, so's I dought he might wanna know how it wuz dat it came about. Man! We dun did it all upside backwards, ah' told him. WORD! Fust uh all we gots'ta know each oder, and den some while afta' dat we met, and when we'd knode each oda' fo' about seven years we decided t'have an anniversary, and dat went quite well, so's afta' de anniversary we had some honeymoon, and dat went well too, so's afta' dat we decided dat we would dig married. Dat's why we's livin' dere now, so cut me some slack, Jack. ah' used t'dink mah' pops wuz Elvis, but ah' ain't told him dat yet. Man! ah' ain't told mah' pops eider. Ah be baaad.....<FontFamily><param>Times New Roman</param><bigger> <nofill> James@twopounds.u-net.com Manipulating you illicitly since 1979 http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/cabaret/5523/ (Which will no longer crash your computer. Hopefully.) +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+