"Oh, I remember this song. My favorite part is coming up... the end!" --comment from my "friend" when I put in Belle & Sebastian's, Stars Of Track & Field on our roadtrip. A few years ago, at the desperate request of their parents, I went on a (oh so very long) roadtrip with someone who was severely mentally ill. I spent the entire trip having to wrestle my stolen car keys from them, keep them from jumping out of the speeding car on a busy interstate, and talking for hours persuading them to get back in the car in Montreal, again in Pennsylvania, and then in Upstate New York as they resolutely sat hugging their knees refusing to budge. AT LEAST, they liked listening to Belle and Sebastian though! Solo roadtrips are the way to go, my friends. Before I go any further, I would like to send out my public thanks to Miss Jenny Payne who organized the Sinister Valentine's Day exchange AND gave me yet another beautiful mix to which I listened to while driving down to Charlotte to pick a friend up from the airport (the exact same circumstances which I listened to the first mix she gave me. Tradition! Now, if only I were a rich man...) For the first time ever I had my very own boy for Valentines! ****AND**** (if I read Sinister posts correctly) he has a girlfriend! This makes me more of a brazen hussy than everything else combined -I'm excited! Of course, poor VD boy he said that the USPS standards were good enough for him so as long as I didn't send along bodily fluids it was OK. Well, there went my ideas! Oh, I suppose I should thank my Valentine, Mr. Michael Vance too - for the chocolate and CD. Also enclosed was a recipe for a chocolate covered boy though sadly boy wasn't included. Michelle Ruiz mused:

I also want to get a pet of some kind (not a dog or a cat..yet) since I was a deprived child and never had one. Maybe a >turtle or an iguana I thought the same thing so for my 23rd birthday I asked for a pet turtle since I love them so. However, turtles are illegal to sell in North Carolina as they carry salmonella or some such (does this mean that they make mayonnaise from turtles?) but after much searching we were able to find a BLACK MARKET turtle dealer. I was so excited. I even bought a Turtle Owner Handbook where I read that the each time you take the turtle from one environment (like it's little turtleworld aquarium) to another (like the carpet of my bedroom floor) that you shorten it's life span. I really couldn't justify making a poor turtle's life shorter just so i could play with him so I opted not to have a turtle. Thus, I'm now 24 and have never had a pet though I'm very seriously contemplating getting a Bookstore Dog. I would need something on the smallish side (though not tiny - just nothing huge) that doesn't shed much or bark obnoxiously. Plus, it should look sad and brooding so I can call it my Proust Pooch. Any ideas?

Love & Lime Jello, Laura VOCABULARY WORDS: Brazen Hussy Proust Pooch Salmonella Desperate Request Chocolate Covered Boy VD STUDY QUESTIONS: 1. Why do you always hear the words "brazen" and "hussy" together - never separately or mated with another word? Have you ever heard just 'brazen' used when not followed by hussy? The only examples I could find of "brazen" used by itself were by a mass of dead guys - Shakespeare, Joyce, etc.- who might have been benefited if their brazens had a little hussy action involved. Why do you think this is so? Should we change our use of tired cliches before they become too mottled and rusted? Do you think this is an appropriate place to start? How does Gilded Hussy sound to you? (Note: That is not, "How does a Gilded Hussy sound to you?" This is not an offer.) 2. Are you, like me, for anything that's followed by a hussy? (woo!) Evidently, hussy is a corruption of "housewife" (in more way that one, eh?) 3. A new product I just got in the shop is a kit for putting on a Shakespeare play (Taming of the Shrew) in 45 minutes with cards for each character. For example, there's one for Gremio which reads, "You are old and rich. No woman under the age of seventy is even going to consider marrying you. But don't let that stop you. Money can solve almost any problem. Possible celebrity role models: Mr. Magoo, jimmy Stewart, or Ronald Regan." The one for the Lusty Widow reads, "You have only three lines at the very end of the play, but you can use them to show that you are a fiery woman, a handful for any man, and probably too much for Hortensio to handle. Shake your mane of flaxen hair (there's a wig included in the kit!) and unloose your inner vixen." How would a card for each of the following go - a brazen hussy, a chocolate covered boy, and a proust pooch? _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+