Robert Crumb, a man I've been promoting in the tape tree shenanigans, is still alive. Some people don't know this. He was once used as a mould for Groucho masks. Anyway, he once said something along the lines of "I'm really sick of hearing people's life stories, hopes and dreams." Not particularly poignant, but it inspired me to write, whilst not rattling on about the entire history of my life. Don't you love short blokes who witter? So sexy. For a bit, when I was 16, I tried on (it was a conscious decision) the adolescent depression and apathy thing. Listened to dire bands like Mr Big, and Ugly Kid Joe, wore denim, greased my hair so much it looked like an incapacitated flock of seagulls after an oil spill. I do have a point. Since then, I've been unable to appreciate beauty. I've gone all practical. This isn't what I wanted to become. I look at a tree, raining pink and white blossom, on a baking day, and there isn't even a ponk from the sugar beet factory, and it doesn't inspire or interest me one bit. Well, other than to write this mail. I consider myself a creative soul, but I'm fundamentally lethargic. I can be full of energy, and have loads of ideas, and patience, and feel ready to do things, like write that story down, or finish off those lyrics, but when I start it feels pointless. Not in the way of EVERYTHING being pointless, like some Camus wet dream, but it just seems like giving my brain a rest would be a better idea. My brain gets SO MUCH REST it's unbelievable. I've always thought my brain's all I've got going for me. I've got radioface, and desk-physique. Don't get me wrong, I haven't got low self esteem, I'm just comfortable with my...fallabilities* [*Reader : Delete that and put a better word please] I don't want to read a book on positivity, and come out of it blithe, and fake, and that. Music keeps me suspended in the good stuff, but I can't listen to music all the time or I'll get EMR poisoning. [B&S Content] Belle and Sebastian play nice music. [End of B&S Content] My picnic was nice. The second smallest Sinister picnic in the history of time. I'd just like to be less of a miserable epyx. I've no good reason to be unhappy, and I'm SURE some people think I do it on purpose to make myself seem deep, or get attention. Thanks for reading my tantrum. I'll keep you all abreast of my escape from Ennuitz. Love Harry +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+