A good legal strategy would be to seek counsel from a random internet mailing list, and write to it's thousand members that you are guilty and are plotting to obstruct justice by crafting an alibi. Oh, wait, I mean the WORST legal strategy, sorry for the confusion. Just because there is a new single titled "Legal Man" doesn't make this an appropriate forum, dear. ----------

From: Denise Power <dee@netsoc.ucd.ie> To: twee*muskateers <sinister@missprint.org> Subject: Sinister: he's suing me ? Date: Mon, Apr 24, 2000, 4:13 PM

hello list, I am being sued., for slander and defamation of character etc. Its very upsetting. My hands are shaking ALOT. You know when you do stupid meaningless things which you think to yourself afterwards, ah well its not as if it is going to taint me for ever afterwards? well thats kind of whats happening except for the its not going to taint me bit becuase I am due a solicitors letter in tomorrows post. So, if anyone has legal background please please mail me privately because I can't really use this as a venting ground any more. I'd be slightly excited by it if I didn't have woeful anxiety pains. Caroline I will explain tomorrow if you are around. Tomorrow I am meeting with my alibi and we are getting our story strtiaght. I would like to implicate a girl who I hate but I know it will backfire. If I was more political I could and emerge smelling of roses. Unfortunately I think I am in for alot of character assassination and fucked up exams. Actually I'll probably not have to bother sitting my exams as my MAsters will probably just be taken off me. I used to think crying over boys was enough to feel depressed about. But its not. I don't want to go to court. Please don't make me. A source told me it probably wo 'nt get to court that it will be an in camera or something hearing. i think that means no one but me and the other offenders are locked up in a room where severe questions will be directed our way. My parents are going to hit the roof.

boo hoo hoo.

________________________________________ Disclaimer : the information which is obtained through a quiet perusal of these emails should be absorbed by osmosis. Allow one to two years for the genius of each and every intentional spelling mistake and grammtical error to sink in for maximum effect. Recognising that Denise sometimes embellishes stories and leans towards outright lies is important for your own acumen of the holistic elements of the emails. Should your knee get itchy whilst you read emails from Denise, she is completely unresponsible unless of course, she happens to be tickling your knee. Then it is right and proper to stick something smaller than your elbow into her ear with the sole purpose to hurt her. That'll teach her.

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