Oh dear, I'm being drawn in by the might of "the beautiful game". It's a thin line between minor flirtation and full on obsession you know. Actually, it's a wide gulf really, but I do seem to be managing to bridge that gulf at a frightening pace. A Japanese friend of mine told me that she worried about British football hooligans coming to Japan for the World Cup in 2002. I put her straight, they won't be British, they'll be bloody English. Of course, I don't really have any Japanese friends, certainly not female ones. But I have a dream. And dreams come true. Didn't John Gordon Sinclair sing that on TOTP once? Was he singing about wet dreams? How do wet dreams come true? I don't understand that. Am I stupid? Not as stupid as whoever thought Clare Grogan fancying John Gordon Sinclair was believable casting. Someone called Jake D'Arcy played Phil Menzies in Gregory's Girl and there's someone called Jake D'Arcy on the Shalala mailing list. D'you think they invited the entire cast and he was the only one that joined? I'll bet they're well pissed off Clare Grogan didn't. She's hard she is. She'd eat the entire Shalala cast for breakfast. I think it's quite hurtful that people have been saying bad things about that list behind their backs so I'm going to say it to their faces. They don't let you though. It's a scary world where all subversive opinions are suppressed and filtered out by someone called Pete in a "Twee As Fuck" t-shirt before they get to YOU, the people. I'm sure some dodgy political and religious groups throughout history have employed this tactic. I'm too ignorant to know which ones though. There is no humour in the world of Shalala. There isn't. Go look. It's true. Anyway, what I really meant to say was, has everybody read that joke about our heroes on the letter's page of the NME this week? I thought it was quite amusing so the suggestion that B&S fans are tight-arsed miserable sods that don't appreciate a good joke is right out of the window. The person who wrote it was from Aberdeen. I'm always proud when someone from Aberdeen gets a letter published in the NME. And I wish I could remember what it is Nancy Sinatra sings on Kinky Love. Something about "I know he's a man and he's got to have his Kinky Love". Isn't Nancy great? I fancy her. Especially the bits she's had cut off. I actually own them. They're in a jar next to my bed and I take them out and lick them every once in a while. I keep them in whisky, so they taste pretty good. I was going to use that line about a man needing his kinky love as my signature. But since I can't remember it, I'll use something Filthy McRagtag told me instead. Except I promised myself I wouldn't say anything bad about the Duke anymore and Robert probably doesn't want me telling the world what he's been saying in private. Kinky Love People, Kinky Love...John +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+