I've always wanted to be that girl, but I'm not sure what he means. Jesse Malin that is. Man, he really is something. You should all listen to him, or I might show up at every single sinisterbites house, dancing a frightening "Why-don't-you-buy-the-goddamn-record!"-dance. And we don't want THAT do we? I thought so. I still really want to go to New York, I somehow, subconsciously, am sure that if I go to New York for a one week holiday everything in will be real fine. Like, I will just happen to run into Ryan Gentles and he'll say "Astrid! You are charming! I want to be your manager!" and I'll say "Ok dude" and then I'll get a record deal and be famous and loved by everyone. Er... I didn't say that. That was wannabe-Astrid talking, I'm sorry. Really, I want a very artistic and noir way of doing things, I will always be a suffering artist. No, I'm sorry. I lied again. I *do* want people to say "Whoa, you really do rock". Who wouldn't? It's no fun hearing that you suck. Lately, it's alright down here with me. I'm quoting again, oops. This is one of my more schizophrenic posts, and I truly am sorry about that. Sometimes I wish I lived in New York, or Great Britain, or wherever that's big and not Sweden, because it feels like then I'd find lots of cool kids to hang with, and I'd find some nice boy that I could make mixtapes to and we'd be kissing just for practise, and all that twee business. There's a lack of those kind of boys here in Sweden, you see. I'm not sitting here, writing a post admitting that my lovelife is not the most exciting things on earth. No, that would be stupid, since I could pretend that I had tons of boys crying into their pillow at night because they're all in love with me. I'm not admitting it. I'm just, er, hinting. But you can't blame me, because I always become like this when it's close to Valentine's A-fucking Day. I hate it. I really do. Sometimes I get swept up in it and I think for a moment that I'll get a rose (I dunno about other countries, but here, there are almost always internal systems in the schools so that you can send roses to people, anonymous or not) or a card from someone non-family. It's all too depressing. I hate that. Fuck that shit. I WOULD like a card or even better a rose, though. I really would. Sigh. Love sucks most of the time, because, at least for me, it seems to make me fall in love with the most untouchable boys. Not in the sort of most popular boy-sense, but just that they'd never fancy me. Maybe I haven't got a boyfriend because I'm too tall. Much too tall for a boyfriend. Now, all I have to do is push the send-button and then you can all read these embarrassing confessions. So I will do that, and then I'll be ashamed for a while, but I'll be alright. All of you, do take care. Luv and Pillowfights Astrid x Reporter: Spit or swallow? Craig N: I like all birds. I think the eagle is my favourite. Aaaaaaw. That's just too sweet. Hee hee hee. ______________________________________________________________ For up-to-the-minute music news, reviews and specials visit http://www.nme.com Get free e-mail (anyname@nme.com) now at http://www.nmemail.com The sender of this e-mail is NOT an employee or associate of NME, nme.com or any other IPC magazine. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+