Yesterday, Miss Lixi and I boarded the bus at ten past ten and headed for Oxford. The sky was blue and the clouds were rococo. Before long I was drinking tea in a garden full of chickens. Stripe was big and fat and well-behaved and she cooed at me when I stroked her back. Chanticleer crowed to his heart's content, but rather upset the contentment of those of us who had to listen to him. Major Major kept running away. But we couldn't spend the entire afternoon in their company, for there was picnicking to be done. Have you ever tried lardycake? It's the bestest cake in the world. To make it, you roll out your dough, spread it with lard, sprinkle it with raisins and fold it in half. Then, you roll out the dough again, spread it with lard again, sprinkle it with raisins again and fold it in half again. You repeat this process a few dozen times until the whole thing is dripping with grease. Then you bake it. I mean what I say- it's the bestest cake in the world, and a classic English delicacy. Unfortunately, Oxford's bakeries were all closed and Sainsbury's only had jam doughnuts, so they had to do. We shared them out under a willow tree on the banks of the Cherwell, whilst sipping delicately from plastic cups. Coots and moorhens swam past and we fed them Trolli Burgers. A brood of cygnets gave us the evils and we gave the evils to a silly arse who thought he'd impress his ladyfriend by playing Bob Dylan songs to her on a punt. Remember arse-dancing? We saw arse-punting. You don't get that up Greenwich Hill. We got the back seat of the London bus and drank gin like the rebels we'd like to be, before falling asleep like the softies we really are. I went home, snuggled up under my new duvet, which is the colour of bluebells, and dreamed of dappled sunlight on rivers and the end of the summer. Yes indeed, autumn is on its way and fashion spreads will be full of redheads wearing shades of moss, damson and amber for the next two months. Myself, I'll be wearing black, with a smear of red lipstick. Juicy Lucy __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail - Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ ++++++ ++++++ ++++++ August 27th Sinister Third Birthday Red Underwear Day ++++++ ++++++ ++++++ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+