hello sinister. jesus. (note: 'jesus' used in a rather cursing, sinful way, not to denote an address to the person (person?) belonging to said moniker.) anyway. jesus. i am a drama queen of the worst sort, i suspect. or, i used to be. i'd like to think in some way, during my time away from sinister or after the separation from old friends and quasi-lovers i lost some of my likely characteristic flair for the dramatic. but, reading some old posts and short-shorts and poems tonight, followed by some of the new, i realized i probably haven't changed all that much -- perhaps i've just figured out some way to cram as much high drama as possible into a terse line. maybe it's like learning to dance in a small space. and i've always liked that idea, really, thinking about the best way to fully extend yourself in some height of happiness or, whatever, energy in spite of the space you are in. if i ever learn to do that really, truly properly, i think i will have done something kind of like living. *** i am to go to california in three weeks now. and i haven't bought my plane ticket yet. not that i don't want to go, or can't afford to. i do. i've just ... put it off. some of the motive for doing so (though it wasn't necessarily a motivated delay as much as pure procrastination) is probably because, over the last month, i have developed a gi-normous fear of flying. (which means dancing in small spaces will become crawling up the walls of said small spaces.) i've never been on an aeroplane, you see. and i know the reason we all fear crashes is because, really, we think they happen more often than they do thanks to media coverage. but, thinking about it, plane crashes are a big (and not so common) news deal. a friend of mine said this weekend that perhaps i, like a lot of other people, prefer to travel by car because, in a sense, i can still feel the ground beneath my feet. but if i am going to see a love, perhaps it is better that my feet do leave the ground, and that my stomach does float for a while. maybe i can get it out of the way by the time i get off the plane and into the sunshine and all that. encinitas is about twenty minutes from san diego, i hear. and an hour and a half from los angeles. and about a half hour from mexico. and where i'll be, trying to figure out of life is about falling in love or falling out of it. maybe it's about both. maybe it's about moving everywhere in a spsce designed to nowhere (or everywhere). whatever the case, i am scared, and taking flight advice: board early if possible chew gum suck ice listen to music write envision departing plane to waiting arms, etc. look out window reserve aisle seat sleep relearn the art of crocheting envision self smoking glorious, satisfying cigarette yes, i will definitely take that last bit of advice. without a doubt. they say california is a black hole -- lou.xo. ===== www.somewhereinbetween.net __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? The New Yahoo! Shopping - with improved product search http://shopping.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+