I've been having a lot of thoughts lately, mostly about things and my life and how nothing ever seems to work out. I've come to the conclusion that the reason why nothing good ever happens to me is that I never believe I'm the kind of person that good things happen to. When good things do happen to me, I'd feel that I'm on borrowed time, that something DRASTICALLY BAD was about to make everything wrong again, and subsequently I'd be too busy preparing for the bliss to end, practicing ways to take defeat gracefully that I end up feeling miserable even when things aren't going right. Even worse, I'd even throw it all away - thinking I don't deserve it, that people will frown on me that I'm having something that I don't deserve, and so I give up. There is a funny episode in the Sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf, called "Better than Life" - it's about this new virtual reality game in which anything that you've always desired will happen - but this guy Rimmer (who's a Smeghead) ended up having all the bad things happening to him because he can't get his head to think that anything good can happen to him. It was funny on TV - not so funny in real life. But I think it's time I take off my reality helmet and face the real world - I'm getting my life sorted, I'm going to stop being in a muddle and start believing that good things do and will happen to me - I'll have to start from scratch, since I'm in a bit of a rock bottom at the moment on all fronts. But it's looking up already - it's the weekend :) Cheers and Red Bulls Ken P.S.: One good thing that I'm sure will one day happen to me is that B&S are going to reveal the answers to the various Treasure Hunt clues - we just don't know when!! _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+