Stevie stood poised, guitar in hand. His nerves kept in check by a fresh intake of Stevie Snacks. Beansie and Sarah were stood on a chair above the effects pedals which had been connected in a line between the guitar and amp. Sarah explained her ingenious plan. "As soon as the ghost comes into the room we jump on the pedals while Stevie plays the intro to Legal Man. I've calculated the reverb should be the right frequency to shatter the rotten timbers in the door frame and bring the whole lot crashing down on Neil's - I mean the ghost's - head. If we're lucky it'll be a load-bearing wall with a concrete lintel" "Couldn't we just jump him? I mean there's three of us..." "Shut up Stevie - I'm the brainy one in this joke. Here he comes - play Stevie!" "WoooOOOOoooOOOOoO!!!" howled the ghost as he slowly opened the door. Sarah and Beansie jumped on the pedals as Stevie played a cracking lick. Everyone stuck their fingers in their ears as the amp let loose a terrific reverb that echoed round the room for at least a minute. As the nose died down, the ghost stood in the doorway looking confused. Sarah looked in horror at the amp. "Shite! We played too quiet again! Quick Stevie." Stevie swung the guitar and connected soundly with the undead spirit's surprisingly solid head. "Tie him up before he comes to. Then we can find out who this 'ghost' *really* is." "Tenner says it's Neil," said Beansie "It's always the first person you see in an episode. And there wasn't anyone else in the motel." "Stevie J! Where are ye!" cried a voice. It was Struan. "Thank god you guys are here. I've lost Bel!" "Look no further," said Sarah, pulling away the ghost's sheet. "Bel!" Everyone gasped. "Thought she sounded a bit too asthmatic to be Neil" said Beansie. "But why?" said Stuart. "It was my idea," sighed Isobel. "Neil was in on it too - we decided the band had run out of steam and it was time for a change. But first we had to scare the rest of you off." "That's what the glasses were for!" Sarah exclaimed. "You were going to form a new emo Belle and Sebastian!" Isobel's eyes grew wilder "That's just what I told Neil but really my plan was to form .... A Proclaimers tribute band!" The rest of the band gasped in horror. "You're insane!" cried Struan. "And I would've got away with if is wasn't for you bloody kids and your dumb guitarist!" "I can actually talk..." "Never mind," interrupted Struan. "The police have been called." "All's well that ends Bel!" said Beansie. No-one else laughed. *********************** So that's it. Isobel was taken away for psychiatric treatment and by the time the band got to Boston she was back to her usual bored self. Um.... that's all. Sorry to have bored you. Robster __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+