About two summers ago, my Scottish (now-ex, but in a friendly way) boyfriend Andrew came out to visit. He'd been in the country a bit less than a week, and I think we'd just arrived home from a weekend out at a mutual friend's cottage. It was late evening and we'd had a long drive, so I gave myself a nice big stretch whilst walking up the driveway to the front door, and on a romantic whim twirled around to give Andrew a nice big hug. Did I mention that I still had the car keys in my hand? Did I mention that Andrew wasn't expecting me to turn around? Instead of charmingly throwing my arms around his neck, I thrust the big fat ignition key up his nostril. Blood EVERYWHERE!! marisa in TEARS!! Andrew in HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER!! AT ME!!! In floods of tears, and with my hands all bloody, I ran to the front door and fumbled with the lock. As soon as I opened the door I called and called for my parents to come and help. Walking down the front hallway to investigate the commotion, they see me, bawling and blood-covered, and Andrew in the background with his hands stained red, covering his face. Andrew is still laughing, by the way. I fly to the laundry room to get an old towel to mop up the mess. My parents are left with Andrew to listen to him tell the story through his hands, palms cupped to catch the blood. By the time I got back with the towel, all three of them were laughing at me. I was still crying. They still laugh when we retell the story. And, okay, NOW I'm laughing, but at the time I was really upset. I mean, fuck! Noses are very bloody things! They bleed a lot!! And that makes it look very serious, indeed. And that cartilege, man...I can still feel it give. Anyway, he bled for another few minutes and then it was all over. No disfigurment, no permanent brain damage etc etc. I think my most traumatic/disfiguring accident was the huge cut I got on my right big toe from a zebra mussel when I was about fifteen. I still have the scar, it looks like a fossil. It's on the bit that would be just above the knuckle (if feet have knuckles) on the topside of my toe, so it's not even like I had trouble walking afterwards. I just had to swim back to shore with my foot held in the air out of the water to stop it from stinging so much. I remember my aunt thinking it was pretty gross, tho. Anyway, I don't remember if I put on any music to make myself stop crying after I keyed Andrew's nose, but if I was making a movie in which that happened and I wanted to cheer my marisa character up, I would play The Pines' cover version of "Ask" by The Smiths cause it has just the right combination of lovely harmony and underlying melancholy. If she'd managed NOT to key Andrew in the nose and was perhaps going to a party or something afterwards, she'd have to play "Legal Man", just because Stevie makes her smile so, even at the risk of being lumped in with the thoughless seventeen year old emo geeks who only started liking b&s when they sold out etc etc. Otherwise, she would probably play some Of Montreal. "Tim I Wish You Were Born A Girl" makes her happy that people fall in love and tell the world to go hang. marisa ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+