Sailors and pirates on the mighty ship Sinister. You've mostly all mostly been *so* nice to me that I'm quaking in my boots awaiting the almighty Honey backlash, just like what Leo Sayer got. I see Peter Miller's started already, but I knew he'd get his oar in. To the 15 people who voted for meeeee, I am flattered, stunned, aroused and outraged! I too would like a gender breakdown of, sorry, from Stuart G, but you can't tell the boys from the girls these days. Anyway someone says the only reason I got all these votes was "the Mrs Thatcher factor" - i.e. "ooo, look at the way she struts about, maybe if I misbehave she'll put me over her desk and spank me hard?". Is it my ankles or something? In spite of all this I know that Ms Fluffy Canderel Sarah truly deserves the tiara, even though she won't lend me her frock. I'm going to keep the Miss Sinister sash for just a week then, wearing it to watch the Nine O'Clock News in my pyjamas, and then send it back to its rightful owner. WeeJay's risking his life challenging a Queen Bee on the sugariness of honey, but he's right actually: there's none so sweeter as the lasses of Preston. Incidentally I really liked "Mx Honey" - does it stand for "Minx"? I'm not so sure about the Jive Dialectized post though - they seem to be multiplying ever since Keith Watson invented them in 1956. It's nearly as well-trod as translating something automatically into French and then back to English again and sending it back to the list. Who could be so corny? (hint: look for "shrub shrub" with Search on the WWW page; I know Peter Milliner will never let me forget). Anyway, I've blown any credit I scraped back here in one fell swoop. Someone mailed the list ages ago telling anyone involved in a tape tree to remove the tabs of tapes they received. I keep forgetting to confess that I didn't, and that I've replaced approximately 60 seconds of Biondino's tape with white noise. I was going to pretend it was Mogwai remixed by erm, Mogwai's Mum, but I'm just not going to get away with it am I? Biondino - I'm really sorry. I'm also dead late sending on tapes so I offer myself up for crucifixion... they're on their way to Thailand now, honestly. Crikey, I had a dream about a horse last night. On to business... -- LIST STUFF -- Thank you for mostly heeding what I begged for in my last mail - most of you are sending in wholesome, wholemeal posts, lovingly pored over and re-read under fading candlelight in wispy nightgowns. Because I've asked to point it out by a few, could you please help readability by following conventions when replying to someone else's mail: o Don't just tack your reply on the top or bottom of a full copy of someone else's mail - cardinal sin number one, which is punishable by having to do a LOT of washing up. It's a real waste of list traffic and 800 peoples' download time so please do a bit of mousework. o Choose the bits you want to quote from someone's mail and take time to format them with a nice indent at the beginning of the line, like lots of people do. It makes it much easier to read, you know where the quote paragraphs end, and if one person can't be bothered, then 800 others have to wade through it. o Don't go the other extreme and read a mail, hit reply, and say "I agree". o Think before you mail back to the list: should I just be replying to the person who sent or asked this question? Does everyone else want to know too? Maybe I should just go and tell my mum? There's another rule I keep leaving out the FAQ: posts to list whose soul content is football earn you a night in the cells. Not that I'm biased or anything. No, make that sport in general. Oh and um.. birthdays.. while it's a spiffing idea to make someone happy when they reach 80 by sending them an email, please let's not turn this list into an offshoot of Hallmark cards: if we did we would get 2 or 3 a day, plus probably ten times that with people thanking others, and asking them what Aunt Connie gave them and whether they fit. If you've sent Nanette your birthday, them I'm sure a little sub-list of birthday well-wishers can be done, all off the list. I know I'm a terrible nag, but it's because others nag me, so please take it in the proper spirit and be of good cheer. I'd honestly rather be in an apron in a fragrant garden serving tea to The Incredible String Band, than being a misery-guts here, but it's worth it if the list keeps on and you continue to like it. But if anyone feels like sending a five page "personality" questionnaire to the list and asking for people to answer it, um, on the list, like I've seen elsewhere recently, think again and see me after class :) -- SOME OTHER STUFF -- Martin Horsfield:

I would guess the stereotypical image of B&S fans is wedge haircuts, black 501s with turn-ups, cardies or three quarter length suede jackets and Penguin books T-shirt for the boys, and short floral skirts, DM shoes, hair slides and woolly stockings for the girls.

That's funny I've got ALL of those on right now. I honestly don't know if we all wear the same clothes. Wouldn't it be funny if we all found out we were wearing the same underwear right now? It could happen...stop laughing, it COULD. We could have an underwear tree - we compile a list of addresses and send one item of underwear on to the next person every fortnight. We wouldn't even have to remember to remove the tabs or anything. I was a little embarrassed to see Rachael's repeat posting of my previous mail from September, primarily because some of the made-up names and circumstances bore an uncanny resemblence to a few more recent things. Can I remind people that it was written ages ago, I love you all dearly, and it's not my fault I'm clairvoyant? And that (again!) I really don't mean to pick up individuals on things if I sound like I am - I only keep saying this because every time I post someone mails me back and apologises for something that I didn't know they'd done, and they thought I was making voodoo dolls of them in my bedroom. It's like that old Ealing Comedy plot when a policeman with a wonky helmet (stop it) gives a criminal a parking ticket and he confesses to stealing the crown jewels. Finally, thanks Linda for spilling the beans about my past; maybe you'll explain to Calum why I'm really called Honey. I don't get named after song lyrics, otherwise I'd be called Delilah. I, and no doubt Chris Leonard, also want to know what Linda meant when she once told me that Rock Hudson and Johnny Mathis "went off and lived together in a condom". I don't get that at all. Mx Honey xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+