hello :) ..hmmmm... the seasons changing again...its funny how the weather creeps up on you...last week i was wandering around basking in the late august warmth like autumn was just a myth...and then *thwack*...the cold air hits you in the face as you shiver in your t-shirt at the bus stop...you know its the last time you'll feel the sunshine stroking on your arms or be able to lie in parks in the evenings running your hands through the grass as the sky turns a million different colours...i am too obsessed with the weather for my own good...it affects my mood more than is surely healthy...autumn is kind of different this year though...september doesnt bring the usual dread, the usual worry,the usual misery of the prospect of another nine months in captivity...no education to go back to for the first time in 14 years..this may of course only be temporary and my foray into *the real world* may only last a year before i retreat back to the loving bosom of eternal studenthood...but i still felt a tinge of regret as i passed WH Smiths...buying a new and ever more elaborate pencil case and rulers for the new term was probabaly about the only enjoyable thing about the whole affair..but your mind plays tricks and you find yourself missing things you never thought you would miss in a thousand years...its perhaps the easy life that i miss...exams and actually working for money were miles away from my mind ten years ago...so why, against my better judgment, am i actually missing the concept of school? perhaps thats just it...i'm missing the 'concept' of something rather than what it actually was...i've made it into something that it never was in the first place..all through their lives people are always looking to the past and regretting what they didnt do or what they've missed or how dearly they would love to go back and do it all again...and i never wanted to think like that...because you should be able to look back and think 'i had a bloody great time'...or if you're really lucky you never look back at all and just live your life at breakneck speed, never having time to reflect that second too long and bring yourself down...but then sometimes reflection is necessary to keep yourself sane..if you didnt take time to reflect on what you've done and what you've acheived then whats the point of doing it in the first place?..i guess nobody is ever truly happy with their past otherwise they wouldnt bother sticking around for today...where was i?...argh...live for today? perhaps...or maybe live for tommorow..tommorow never comes so you wont be dissapointed...oh wow i'm really lost now...my brain has just been mangled by selling danielle steel books all day...if i ever saw that woman in the street i think i would beat her over the head with one of her own appalling trashy mass produced bilefilth novels until her eyes popped out...work may have turned me into a pyschopath too...umm...i've talked rubbish for far too long... ta ta.. PS : everyone go and buy the reindeer section album...despite reviews to the contrary and the general dodgyness of collaborative affairs like this its absoloutly woooonderful :) __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get email alerts & NEW webcam video instant messaging with Yahoo! Messenger http://im.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+