That Saint Lucy's a bit of a kiss and tell:

He has to be better than John Warrender. It isn't so much his technique, and I could put up with the flatulence and even the cries of "Truck! Train! Tractor" at the crucial moment, but well...I'm all for serenading, but a post-coital rendition of "Sheriff Fatman" on the bagpipes was more indignity than this girl could bear.

Fancy that. I've had some rumpy-pumpy between the sheets with that Lucy doll. I swear I can't remember a thing about it, but she's so in-touch with my "bedroom etiquette" I guess it must be true. Anyway, some of you older-fashioned guys out there (I have a feeling we're harbouring a few sixties throwbacks round these parts) may be wondering why I go to so much trouble to show a lady a good time. Well, this may come as a bit of a revelation, but get this, women enjoy sex!!! I was shocked when I found this out. Even stunned. That "organism" thing they talk about isn't mythical either. They come in pairs and apparently they feel quite good. So all you hot shot young things just better shape up or lose out. The 21st century is only 413 days away. Now off and multiply ya heathens, Love...John +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+