Dear old Aunt Sadie (bless her) was traveling through paisley on her way to partick, to go shopping (she'd saved her pennies from making bacon scented candles). She got a taxxi into town and gave the driver a good tip. She was eating apples, though she liked oranges too, but the juice ran onto her lovely mittens. Glancing into the mirror, she thought about her appearance. Sadie was a vain girl. She liked pigtails a lot, but thought brown was a mistake, but might make people giggle. Despite being lovely it was the wrong shade, there was another brown she loved more. "You look lovely Dahling", the driver commented as he dropped her off. "Well it's gneissy you to say so" replied Sadie "I like your taxi by the way" she added, returning the compliment. The driver fancied her, but feared she may be the wrong girl for him, a bit of a workmaid, and so he gave a polite carsmile, before driving off. She arrived in town and idly picked berries and sweet tulips, before heading to the pet store. She looked at a turtle, a toad and a cute wiezzel, however Sadie was adventurous, what she really wanted was a lion. She loved all animals, but she had a passion for sheep today, though it could also have been a bear week. However, being the twee Godmother, her favourite creatures where foxes. She still liked her little black fox and the pinefox that lived with her. However, she also adored a certain pet ryan. At this point, some random thoughts came into her head. She thought about going into space. However being 82 years old the velocity would be too much, and the G's would probably kill her. Sadie sighed. "I could never be a spacekid", she thought. She wondered if there were shops in space. "Jetmarte - a Wallmart on the moon!" she exclaimed. This made her giggle :O> She left the pet store and went into a shop selling blankets. There was a lovely patchwork quilt, a paisley pattern she presumed, she liked it a great deal. Sadie then glanced at the price tag... "£250!, i'm not rich. or. am . i?" she pondered. Despite this Sadie was still tempted, because it looked really comfie. She left soon after that and headed into the sweetie shop. She bought some nice honey, as well as hobnobs, cola cubes, fruitloops, crackers, cornflakes and bread to make toast for breakfast. Sadie loved toast and marmite and all things sweet. As Sadie ate, she walked into the bakers. There were two, and both were nice. She bought a pie or two (one apple) and some pancakes. However, the baker shouted at her "OI! Ken Chu read?", which startled the dear old lady. Bewildered, she looked up at a sign saying "NO EATING IN THE BAKERY", which she thought was llwedicrous, but he was a bit of a maddie, so she didn't take any chances. He was petulant though, and Sadie wanted to give him a phatlip. She ran outside and still shaken, removed a half bottle of Smirnoff from her handbag, cause she's infamously a bit of a vodkabird. She mixed it with a few pop's and afterward needed the toilet. However, she quickly found one as there were lots of loo's around. Luckily enough she only needed a wee, and not a PooOOOooo as she'd expected. As she walked over there was a baby outside in a pram. Being a lovely old dear, she couldn't help but look into the pram and say "pookie-boo". This made the baby giggle. On the way home and after a lovely day, she listened to the Beatles, which helped her to relax. She put on her old favourites, "blue jay way" and "Lucy in the sky with diamonds." Danke for reading, (it's been a while) Alan xxx _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+