Hullo Mark Casarotto, sniggering at the back, said

Robin S - no matter how much you pretend, the truth is seeping out about your sordid sex secret. Does that make Arantxa a "raving lesbo ho"?

Well, I was told at the weekend that the word "stout" in Flemish, means "naughty", so perhaps you're right. When I first read the above sentence I read "of" instead of "about", making me think that Mark's filthy mind had finally gone too far. Or maybe it's just my filthy mind. And as you ask, Arantxa is a "raving lesbo ho" - you should see her dyke skees. Stefan said:

I think he must be a religious person, because when I passed him a few minutes ago to go to the toilet, I happened to notice the gigantic Christian cross on his screen. He was trying to cut it down to a certain size, but for what purpose exactly I don't know, and I didn't dare ask him. Maybe he was a priest in disguise, or just someone obsessed with crosses.

Or maybe he was being stalked by vampires. VAMPIRES!!! Arrrgggghhhhhh!!!!! Then he talked about Johnny Cash's ring of fire. This song reminds me of my rather tragic Willenium night when we were standing in the pouring rain in London, next to the not-working-yet Millenium wheel singing "Ring of Fire" to keep our spirits up. "Oooh, lads" said Bert "I've got a burning ring of fire", and we all huddled around him to keep warm. We sang "Ring of Fire" almost non-stop for about an hour and a half, waiting for some rubbish fireworks. What a great night. I won't be doing that next Willenium. I went out last night, with a boy called John who lives round here and likes Belle and Sebastian. We went to a little pub and gave each other tapes and talked about things. John turned out to be very nice. Then the barman, whose mullet was the size of a Davy Crockett hat, roped us into a pub quiz. We were Table 1 and the quiz was apparently about 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s pop music, but it mostly seemed to be about what the barman called Supergroups. The barman and his dirty wife kept winking at us the whole time. "Here's a classic song from a famous Supergroup", the barman would say, winking at us and jangling his hand in his pocket, as if to say, "this one's for the young 'uns." We'd write Godspeed You Black Emperor! and the answer would be Status Quo. In the end we made a slightly hasty exit mid-quiz, while the barman and his dirty wife winked furiously to try and keep us in their clutches. As I left I could already feel my trousers tightening, and hair beginning to grow down the back of my neck. It was a near escape... Trying to work out if Alasdair is a comedy genius, or just plain bonkers.. Robin x +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+