I was quietly working at the bookshop when a girl came up to me and began to randomly tell me about a castle which is completely made of bones. She said she had thought of me when she had read about and had figured I would really like it. (http://www.kostnice.cz/ If I ever get married, this is where I want to honeymoon. Oh the romance!) For some reason, her saying that reminded me of the now immortal sillustrated words of Miss Archel when she spoke, "Tomorrow I go to get my tattoo. People keep saying, "Oooh what are you going to get - an ickle butterfly?" Evidently when people think "Rachel Foreplay," they see poetic butterflies. When people think "Laura Llew," they see chandeliers made out of skulls. Whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it RIGHT baby! Don't worry - you have my permission to completely ignore my inane babble. I have spent ten hours today cramped up in my mother's car driving while slowly eating a loaf of bread which I bought at a Polish bakery in Chicago (I started out thinking it was Sour Dough but by the time I got to Kentucky it started tasting like Garlic bread so who knows.) I haven't actually talked with anyone today, unless cops count which they usually don't. (I don't know why. Must have something to do with just the third grade education.) When I arrived home, I learned my neighbor's water pipes have broken and so he will now be showering over here for the next month while they're being fixed. I guess that shouldn't unnerve me but it does. I suppose I shall be fine with it as long as he uses a different bathroom as me. Otherwise the thought of being naked in the same place as some strange male will just be too much like college again. Speaking of being naked, it has been another trip and I didn't meet any Sinisterines or go to any picnics. I hope everyone in Chicago takes this personally since I most definitely meant it as a slight. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I got your e-mail too late and was incredibly busy with work. Heck - I didn't even wear a badge upside down (though I did wear one on my bag that said "Make Love Not War" right beside one that said "Nihilist Girl." I think if I'm going to make a statement it might as well be one of confusion). I take it that no one else was at the Book Convention there? If so, I'm usually easy to spot there since I'm wheeling my handicapped father around like a mad demon as I take the turns on one wheel. I'm always a helpful daughter and I think it help builds my dad's faith as his prayers challenges Job's in humility and fervency. Once in a while, I will turn my head and he'll surreptitiously sneak away only for me to frantically search for him only to find him an hour later greedily popping chocolate huckleberries in his mouth having completely forgotten about his deranged daughter. However, this year I was released from my usual restraints of a leash and shoulder harness. Oh the joy! It was most fun since large amounts of books always attract large amounts of phreaks. (Hence, the reason I was there.) The people watching was superior indeed. I feel it my duty to all warn you of Foxy Fields (formerly known as Paul Field) who I am now giving Southern lessons to. I just don't want you English girls to be caught off guard when all of a sudden you realize what a completely knee weakening, heart melting and debonair man you have in your midst. Of course, my pupil has not yet progressed to that point yet (sorry Foxy). We're just on the primer lessons really - the phrases one should always know when learning a new language. "Hello", "How are you?", "Your eyes are a beautiful cornflower blue that speaks of Sunday picnics in simpler times.", "Are you paying for this?", etc. On a complete unrelated tangent, I've decided that states whose speed limit is 55 on intestates should just have booth at the state line where I can pick up my traffic ticket. I'm going to go ahead and speed like a demon and I hate to be interrupted while doing it. Plus, the police officers always feel it necessary to point out my expired inspection sticker to which I respond, "If you think that's bad the car hasn't been registered for over 9 months. Ha Ha H..Ahem." Don't worry - Laura Llew almost never gets tickets. Then again, I'm sure I'm not the only one to have a quick tarty reply to the question of, "Miss, do you realize how fast you were going?" Heh. I can always pull 'it off as long as I don't have friends in the car like last fall Lucyfer: (to a cop who has just pulled me over for speeding) Will you write us a poem? Laura: If you have trouble finding a word that rhymes with "ticket", may I suggest where to stick it? *****Now it's time for the important question.***** Will 1400 people want to read this? I mentioned: "where to stick it" "being naked", & "Paul Field." If not then for the love please tell me, WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT OF A GIRL?!?!?! Personally, I want a massage, Laura 'meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977' PS Arik, when I drove through Louisville I thought of you. Well, you and Cookins (sp?). Mmmm yummy PPS - Big happy hugs to Mr. William M. Harris who sent me a new mixtape for the contest which I just got today. He also included BRIBERY. Yay! PPPS- I'm currently listening to Primitive Painter's mix cd. The contest for best mix tapes and cds is still on but OH you kiddies best be wary. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+