Dearest Sinister, Well, after 1 year and 9 months under your spell, I must feel compelled to leave for a 6-month hiatus. In a way, it seems to be the norm, leaving the list for a while then rejoining and viewing through the nursery cot bars... I really want to mail honey the magic word(s), though. Has anyone said them out loud? I haven't, the threat of nursery for life was enough to give me a chill! Anyway, I'm off on holiday between 20th January and 14th June, which is why I can't stay on the list. My inbox is too fragile to stuff 1000 emails into as the check-up time between Russia and China will be about 2 weeks. I'd like now to give a heartfelt thanks to all the listees who have agreed to meet me, and an even bigger thanks to those who will put me up (put up with me!) for an evening (or 4 in some cases!). It gives you faith in people to know that there are some willing to take a poor traveller off the streets. I hope to reward you with gifts, plus my charm and presence (or is that presents?!). On that note, the list below have been sent gifts already (i.e. today). In some cases (a-hem, Mr Mikkelsen!), these gifts are about 8 months overdue and STILL not complete! Anyway, I would very much doubt they will arrive for Xmas, but hopefully by the 20th January. If you could email me upon receipt, I would appreciate it. I went to a post office, which WASN'T my beloved local one, and the guy at the counter was a rude and abrasive fuckwit. I'm worried he's just taken my money and put the parcels in the bin. Placation is required, could one and all please email me just to confirm receipt! Mr Stuart Arnot Ms Hannah Brown Ms Rachael Chrisp Mr David Clark Ms Jeanette Eastwood Mr Rachel Fruitloop plus company. Ms Kate Hargrave Ms Martha Hart Ms Maja Kucharczyk Ms Amy Longcore Ms Jules Markham Ms Helen McLean Mr Lawrence Mikkelsen & Dr. Vanessa Selak Mr Will Salt Ms Ola Szkudlapska Lisa, your is ready but awaiting an address! The highlight of the forthcoming holiday is that I don't have to burn CD's - I must have made 120 in 3 days! Argghhhhhh. Oh, and sorry to write your name. Now you're tainted with being associated to me. Ha ha ha. Wow, it's about 1% of the list, too! in alphabetical order, as you're all so special and I don't want anyone else offended. Should the other 99% want free stuff, well, you didn't email me! Send some and I may put something together next july. I have a further announcement. I have selected my favourite 3 emails from sinister. I have 2 email addresses (you will be contacted...) but the third is NOT IN THE ARCHIVES!!!!!!!! Not that this is causing aspersions on honey's archive virtue...! So, if the owner of the message (added at the bottom of my email) could step forward and email me, I'd like to congratulate you and shower you with free stuff! I know this is list abuse as there is no content. Please feel content that I am content. A big well done to honey and all the surrogate list mummies - I can say without a doubt that there is no list quite like this. The weird thing is the way it hits me. I sort of go "Ooh, I like corduroy"; "Ooh, I like New Order!", realising that there are people out there who are more than the ONE BAND the mailing list alleges to adhere to. It's unique in the way we all possess similarities beyond liking B&S! You're all wonderful people, and hopefully I can say it for certain once I've met most of you for real! Well, that's all I can think of for now. From mid-Jan on, my new email address will be nikoisonholiday@yahoo.com - please feel free to brighten up that inbox with stuff which'll give me a smile in Sub-zero Russia, or Sub-Saharan India! I'll see you all in the future, Love Niko xxx THIS IS THE EMAIL. WHOSE IS IT?! it's worth reading, i laughed my ass off. Arse. I apologise profusely, but I have been under some not inconsiderable strain of late. My mind has been plagued with a recent event but my therapist is an oaf with a Milwall FC pen and would not begin to understand. So, like Mel C, I turn to you my dear Sinisterettes, sure as I am of your discernment due to your avowed musical preferences. Let me illuminate you. I am a man of impeccable breeding and discernment. Sent down to improve and edify those less refined than myself by the powers that be, I have successfully infiltrated all sectors of society and bought Titian to Toxteth, Mozart to Mile End, Goethe to the Gorbals. Call me a missionary if you will, it's a position I accept. Alas, however, although my faculties are great my means are finite. Thus after a period of some self-denial, I was able to afford a fine '76 Veuve Cliquot I had been hampering after for some months. A night of joy, one will surely agree, lay ahead. But calamity lay along those darkened streets from the merchant to the maisonette. The usual hurdling of the homeless was easy enough, but how was I able to anticipate interception by a blackguardly youth? Stepping out the shadows with a Stanley knife he sneered at me. "What you got in the bag, prick?" Now, I fear no-one and nothing, and rather than take this as a threat, I decided to take it as an opportunity. To drink alone is a tragedy, so why not wean this infant off his 'Special Brew' (Pah! 'Tis the milk from a dastardly whore!) and introduce him to the finer things in life. My god, I could even play him Electronic Renaissance! I reached into the bag, brandished the bottle. Wanting him to read the label, I thrust the bottle into his face. Oops. I swear he edged forwards but the glass shattered as swiftly as the bridge of his nose. What had I done? I had to make amends. I noticed the break (the bottle, obviously) had been clean and most of the precious nectar was still in the 60% of the receptacle I was holding by its neck. We could still share a drink after all...I adopted the tone one must with these common types - a brusque street drawl with profane inflection. In my role as educator, I felt a paternalistic tone of address was necessary. So, parrying and thrusting (I cut a dapper figure with the foil) the bottle towards him so he could sample the bouquet, I stated "Come on sunshine, you fucking want some?" and the scamp scampered. Half a bottle gone and a social rejection in the same evening. Really, some of the plebiscites have no manners. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+