right, as the buddha once said, 'i'm gonna talk fast and not fuck around' that is, i'm not going to waffle in this one that is, i'm going to be brisk and business-like, and not get caught up in any ian-post-meanderings as so often happens. i'm just going to say what i've got to say, and go no farty hypothesising about life no quoting saint etienne rain falls like elvis tears existence is a funny thing, innit? oh, bugger! so... birmingham - to picnic or not to picnic? i get the impression that a lot of people won't be able to make this weekend. partly because i've left it so late and its very short notice, and partly because i've left it so late and its very short notice. i'm sorry. i think a re-schedule might be in order. if you're prepared to trust me again. hopefully next time (may??) i won't have a combination of bleurrghghgh-lurgy and a temparamental isp to contend with, and will get my arse in gear in enough time. forgive me, oh west midlands types. i shall now attempt to draw a veil over my ineptitude and move on to other things: sam walton said:

I was watching Top Of The Pops on Friday. Mo’ Fire Crew performed some UK Garage tosh, but it was > really quite enchanting, they were wearing Sylvester & Tweetie-Pie sweaters and >hats, and spent the entire song clutching their nuts. This amused me greatly. Indeed, >as another member of this parish remarked to me yesterday, viva the Twee Garage >revolution –

i saw this lot's video the other day, and regret to report that schmindie hip-hop (schmip-mop?) may still be some way off. they look VERY angry and shouty on film. perhaps they were simply scared of the totp audience. i can only surmise that the front row was full of vicious hamsters that looked like the only thing on their minds was nibbling the nuts of a uk garage star. perhaps, on the other hand, they simply can't perform live. having said that, shouting 'OH NO, ITS THAT MORE FIRE CREW' is an EXCELLENT way of confusing people. so they deserve some credit for that. toy stephen talked of mis-hearings. in a similar vein, it was only yesterday that the true awfulness of the P!O!P! I!D!O!L! song revealed itself to me. (for those outside the uk, pop idol was a programme where lots of people competed to be famous and rich, and some of them managed it - mostly the judges, the hosts of the show and the record company managers.) you see, i've been labouring under the misapprehension that the opening line of 'evergreen' was: 'i like the sunrise' fair enough. i like the sunrise too. a bit trite, perhaps. i quite like ice-cream but wouldn't consider that a suitable lyric for opening a song with. yesterday, it became clear that mr young is infact singing 'eyes like a sunrise' now, much as i like sunrises - i could look at them all day - i think this wins an ian award for the STUPIDEST lyric of the year so far. eyes like a sunrise? well, correct me if i'm wrong, but sunrises are red, yellow, orange, a whole combination of beautiful warm colours but NOT the sort of colours you'd want your eyes to be. plus, they wouldn't even be one colour, they'd be a whole assortment of colours, and towards the bottom they'd flood out into a long red line. eyes like a sunrise? what a load of knobend. eyes like a fucking sanitary towel would be a better lyric than THAT. a good job the next line, 'arse like a double-decker bus' was re-written. london... may 3rd... are we meeting before the gig? are we drinking somewhere? i won't offer to organise anything, you'd only laugh. i should go. i said i'd be brief, and i've already been long, john. on a final note: matthew henderson said:

And remember, Don't let your chicken fingers be made by the hands of oppression.

which is, frankly, the most sensible thing i've heard all year. raise yer skinny chicken fingers to heaven, brothers and sisters, let's be free!! tara people ian +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+