Eeet For'y Eeeet, am. Stuart and Chris are talking about football in the living room. Stuart "I still cannae believe Celtic got knocked oot of the Champions League qualifiers!" Chris "Och aye, Gordon Strachen is a dobber! Ruining my dear Celtic y'knoo" Stuart "Yeah, from the dizzy heights to winning the SPL to losing to some team from Bratislava!" Chris "aye, to a team called 'Artmedia' as well, bunch of fucking design students or something" Stuart "aye! I think I studied that at Stow.. They were good at putting out vinyls for us but those pansies can't play football fer shite!" Chris "haha, but I heard they just made a record signing!" Stuart "haha, good one!" Chris "huh?" Stuart "nice pun" Chris "what pun?" Stuart "och never mind. Speaking of pansies, I bet Stevie is probably gay! I never hear him talk about football or anything" Chris "haw! Ye think he fancies you?" Stuart "och I dinnae wanna think about that man!" Chris "Well who do you fancy?" Stuart "Och I like that Isobel lass, if Peacock can pull Sarah I think I might stand a chance" Chris "..." Meanwhile in the kitchen, Belfast Bob is cleaning the bin as Peacock Johnson walked in Bob "Standing in the kitchen cleaning the bin" Bob "Singing to myself The State I am in" Bob "It's pretty good exercise I'm getting thin" Bob "my long hair will be on fire if it's dipped in paraffin" Peacock "Oi what's this shite you're rhyming? It's fucking crap" Bob "Peacock Johnson dissin my rhyme" Bob "I'd talk back but I just don't have the time" Peacock "Och shut da fuck up! I'm off for a poo, if I hear your terrible rapping and it disrupts my flow I'm gonna throw poo water over everyone" ------- Eleven fiftee eeet, am. Isobel has just finished applying her make-up in the bedroom and is now talking to Richard. Isobel "check out my fairy wings, they're fake and costed me £5!" Richard "oooh they're so twee! and stick out so much when when you're lying down" Isobel "hehe aye, wanna have a feel?" *Isobel exposes her fairy wings Richard "Ooooh they feel good" Isobel "they make me look pretty by design" Richard "cor yeah they are nice honey" ------- One twanty sax, pm. Mick and Stevie were at the pool table. Stevie "Stuart I can get on with reasonably well" Mick "I like him more now, but I still think he's behaved very badly. You can't get more than five or eight bars out of him, if you know what I mean." Mick "That Isobel is a very strange girl" Stevie "I get on with her quite well as well, actually" *Mick takes a shot and missed Stevie "There was this one time I was playing pool with some sound engineer, and during this one break I didn't have a shot on at all, so I kept telling him I was going to make this plant. He kept saying I wouldn't get it in" Mick "right aye?" Stevie "and so I went to take the shot, and it didn't go in at all" Mick "oh yeah?" Stevie "..." Mick "...?" *Stevie takes a shot Dum dumdum dum dum dumdumdum dum dumdumdum dumdumdum dum dumdumdum. ********************************************************************** This email is confidential and intended solely for the person or entity to whom it is addressed. If this email was not intended for you please notify the UCLH Mail Administrator at mail.administrator@uclh.org. This footnote confirms that the email and attachments contained no viruses when they left UCLH. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+