Ho ho ho, Just the other day I indeed had the harrowing experience of being jolly old (20 years old) St. Mick, er, I mean Nick. My X-mas job of Santa Photographer caused me to do this. It appears one of the Santas just didn't show up a couple of days. His car was stolen, though this is of course false, because the particular Santa has a penchant for lying. Woe to the child who sits upon his very, very large knees. But I digress... I showed up a few minutes early to work, and I had a bit of time to shuffle around and worry about dropping wee babes on their heads and spoiling little kids' idea of Santa Claus. After a bit, I went upstairs to put on my Santa costume. It fit fine, except the belt was far too big, and I couldn't even find any of the holes that the thingydoo would slip into (note: belt reference, *NOT* sexual reference). Then came the beard. Oh, the pains of wearing a scratchy beard that 3 other men have slobbered all over for the past 3 weeks. First of all it stays on your face by means of a thick rubber strap which fits over one's ears. It feels okay for 4.5 seconds, then your ears begin to ache, and it slips off and you have to move it back up. I tried to make it look like I was just scratching my head, so I hope the kids bought it. But worse yet, the beard was close fitting, and little "hairs" forced their way into my mouth as I spoke, saying "What color truck would you like?" And lets not forget that this suit was damned hot, but that was the least of my worries. Well, I didn't drop any children, and most of them didn't cry when they sat down upon my lap. We had some cheeky teenagers who wanted me to sit on *their* lap, so I did, and we took pictures of that. ONe of them, a young lady of perhaps 15 or 16 years, kept asking me why I never brought her a pony, though she had asked year after year. Anyhoo, I got a picture of me with a toddler, I'll scan it and send it to Honey whenever I get the chance. Oh, for all of you Sinisterines who know that Santa is real, those men at the malls aren't real Santas. They're Santa's "Helpers." I loved Adrian's engineering forward. I was guffawing here at my computer. The image of 78,000 flaming reindeer hurtling at 650 miles per second while Santa's cheeks flare up is a rather amusing picture. But lets be realistic, now, everyone knows Santa magically stops time in order to do his business. It probably actually takes him a week to deliver all the goods, but we're all frozen in time, so we wouldn't know. The cookies and milk are his only meals for that period, so kids, don't forget to leave your cookies & milk out for Santa, or he'll starve and die and you'll find a thin Santa with a distended belly whimpering on your floor the next morning. But anyway, this time stop allows Santa all the time he needs to eat the cookies, deliver presents, shoot back up the chimney, and even to write "Santa" in wee in the snow. Now for some reason I never realized that the Beat Patrol session featured the band covering a Christmas song. I think my girlfriend has that session, I'd better get it from her... Furthermore, I have decided that Lesley Jo has assumed the esteemed position of List Genevieve, because Genevieve hardly ever posts any more, and we miss her. But anyway, it's nice to see someone filling her Quebecoise slippers. Bravo to Lesley Jo for that last, most brilliant of posts. "Professor, what's another word for pirate treasure? Why, I do believe it's Belle B!O!O!T!Y!" An excellent idea if I ever saw one. Lets hope that David doesn't shoot the idea down. But, Belle Booty sounds like the name of a "classy" strip joint. Then again, I guess that's in the spirit of things, isn't it? /"\_/"\_/"\ Saint Micholas - bp224995@ohiou.edu - ICQ#5056758 \ / Sandcastle Records - (same e-mail for now) | | Sandcastle Homepage - | | http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Amphitheatre/4972/ | | "I am always wishing to make people | | in the world happy with my smiles." | | - Mr. Friendly +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+