hello sinister. i say yay to bapps and idles for the little tales. and i agree with idels re: indie discussions. i always think i know something about music until i get involved in one of said conversations, and then i realize i actually know more about wham! than, say, the evolution of punk rock or something. and it's always a particular nuisance with boys. sorry guys. but it's true. anyway, i'm mad at all you boys today as it is. *** sometimes i wonder if you start to dress a certain way and start to listen to certain music and start to hang out at certain places you don't actually build around yourself a certain sort of chosen, well. cage, perhaps. confinement. i never really used to worry about this. when it started, i just thought chuck taylors were really cool because they came in so many colors and the boys who wore them had rather nice hairdos. now, three long years later and with a lot of cds and thrift store connections, i wonder if it really is all something false after all. recently i said i felt fake a lot of the time, and i know it's true. not because i am trying to be something i'm not. at least not really, i don't think. i think it's because i hang out with a whole slew of people who try to be something they aren't. or, worse, they don't try to be anything. when i called my mum tonight, i found myself shouting into the receiver, asking her the dreaded rhetorical question, 'what's wrong with the youth of america?' and yeah, as with all things, it was in reference to boys. who, these days, seem to be divided neatly into two categories (at least in nebraska): 1. non-indies who have clean hair, nice shoes and goals goals goals. these boys do not want to go out with me. they like girl(space)friends. 2. indies who have hair last washed approx. 3 months ago, no g.e.d., no job, no car, no phone, no goals and just enough money for a bit of smack. these boys love me AND their bands. (there is a third, unmentionable place for people who go crazy, such as that boy i went to see in california, who recently broke into my email, deleted everything he'd ever sent me, and then sent me another email to tell me about it and ask for "marks for resourcefulness.") honestly, i may turn into dull paul and fake a little more, fake a little teeny interest in dave matthews band and steve maddens and maybe i can make the grade. hmm. scary. maybe not. *** in other news, seeing as i am no longer an official newspaperwoman and, actually, felt a little lost as a result, i am starting my own little paper. nothing too big or fancy considering i have almost no money, but something nice enough with music and art stories, as well as a featured interview and a poetry and fiction section in the back. we'll see how i do. secretly, i think i may only be doing it just to know my name will appear next to the title 'editor-in-chief' in a publication other than my illustrious high school newspaper, the burke beat. am i narcissistic? is that how the word is spelled? xo.lou. ===== www.somewhereinbetween.net __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now http://companion.yahoo.com/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+