Hello all, Not to be a total downer (or to continue the streak of downer messages Sinister has produced as of late) but my day was absolute crap and none of my friends care too much so I'll quickly and quietly say a few things then go to bed or something. I really can't stand being made the butt of joke after joke, even if the jokesters are my friends. I'm not an overly senstive person I don't think, but once I realize I'm being singled out over and over (and thereby alienated) I get so pissed off and depressed I'm almost violent. I'm a fairly sarcastic person and for some reason so are most of my friends but I just really can't take it for too long for some reason. I think its because it reminds me of when I was alot younger and got picked on regularly for being artistic and dramatic and also for being the shortest one of the crowd. The people I clung to for approval totally took advantage of that and pretty much made me the self-conscious person that I am today. They were just evil and I see alot of what they did in my friends when they go out of their way to piss me off and get a rise out of me or just see how long they can torment me before I snap. I'm not the shortest one in the group anymore and I hang out with primarily artistic people but somewhere I must have a huge fucking bulls-eye painted on me and everyone seems more than happy to take aim at that. I figured that once I found a group of people who were on my wavelength and weren't judgemental that I'd be able to totally relax and be myself without fear of retribution but apparently this is not the case. I'd just really like to get an explanation out of some pompous idiots as to why this is... Ok, I feel much better now that I've said that, though still pretty angry and hurt, but I think I may be able to go to sleep now. Thanks for listening... Steve C. PS- Christa, could you please email me 'cause I lost your email address. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+