Sinister: You look like a piece of birthday cake, dear! Too bad everyone's had a piece...
Oh! I must say that I'm quite excited to be in charge of the bookshop in Sinister Village. When Honey suggested that we all move to a farm, I got put in charge of the milk maids (since I grew up on a farm and was the only one who knew anything about milking.... cows.) The bookshop seems to be a lot more subdued and more suited to me anyway. Instead of marking books with "Oprah's BookClub" stickers there would just be "Laura Literary List" markers on the book. Yes, very nice indeed! I was thinking that I'd have a HUGE religion section right across from a GIGANTIC homosexual section. Maybe make the aisle a bit small. That way people looking at the opposite sides would have to brush into each other. I'd put it close to the door so that if anything got out of hand I could shoo them into the town square for a nice row. I wonder if there are any Southern Baptists or Jehovah Witnesses in this village? (They seem to be everywhere else...) From what I've seen, they're better at bible bashing and full out heated religious wars than others (though I must say that Mormon missionaries are by far the *cutest*. BTW, I must say that Christopher was dead wrong about Christianity dying a very quick death. 2,000 years in the making and it's not going anywhere soon. Sorry to disappoint you, old pal.) Who says a bookshop can't be a place of excitement too? But I shall need help you know. *Posts a "now accepting applications' sign* If there is a beauty shop, I think it should called "Curl up & Dye." This was the name of one on some crappy Julia Roberts movie (didn't realize one of those existed, didja?) I saw the other night. Really, I've seen better film on teeth. I had to wait until after midnight to send this post because the main reason I'm writing is to wish MARIE ELIA a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Yes, sinister children, today is Ree's 22nd birthday! I've always thought that she was one of the loveliest lasses of Sinisterville. Never have I encountered such foul mindless perversity! I wonder if she's ever considered a career in politics? No, really, she's wonderful! This isn't just because she's dark headed and from the eastern US (a sure sign of greatness indeed). But she also has great taste in boys -- Blake (very dreamy) and Paralis Jared (who said, "My parents don't wear enough leather for my tastes." If I ever make a list of things that I never want to see, I believe that my parents in leather will be at the top of that list. But whatever floats your boat, Jared.) Not only that but her posts are always chalked full of smut and other great things. To prove this point, I went back in the archives and picked out my top 5 Marie Elia moments. 5-- "Anyway, how did i spend my saturday night, if not listening to mercury rev/sparklehourse, like i shoulda been? Well, a trip to Barnes & Noble, of course... Thirdly, i hereby recommend The Little Prince (anotine du sainte exupery -- i'm sure i spelled that wrong." {Note: This was before either the Literary List or my sinister bookshop so Marie is absolved by not 'taking advantage' of either one of these. FYI, it's Antoine De Saint-Exupery with an accent over the e in the last name. A good quote from that book is, "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.") 4-- "But they gave me a purple lollipop, and who can be upset with a lolli in her mouth? (erm, yeah...)" 3-- "Sarah, your fish is begging to be called Shaft. Easy as that. Ain't no mo-fo in the fishbowl going to mess with him with a name like that. But I'd advise keeping the lady fishes away, you know what I mean?" 2-- "Oh, and tinky-winky made his way in there about 3 times!" {*Laura Llew blushes* Don't ask me what she was talking about there....} and the number one excerpt from Marie Elia's posts is....... 1-- "(although i CAN crochet -- oh geez, i'm so cool, yeah?)" {Notice knone of that knasty knitting is mentioned, eh?} Anyway, here's to most charming, loveliest girl Marie! Of course, if someone were having a seizure in her bathtub, she'd throw in her laundry... Love & a Jim Croce mix tape Laura PS- I have used all of my now very limited computer time writing this post. So, if I owe you an e-mail or a diatribe on Tristam Shandy, a thousand apologies. And *tight hugs that leave you breathless* to the boy who introduced me to ennuni & called me an old woman. hehe. You couldn't get rid of me so easily. *sticks out her tongue* ****** -Go look at all the hard work the ever witty and brillant Jan Imgrund puts forth into making LL's Lovely Literary List: http://perso.club-internet.fr/jimgrund/litlist.htm - Don't give into Amazon! Support your local bookshop or independent ones on the web like http://www.seekbooks.com/default.asp?storeurl=PoorRichards "When I die, I want to go peacefully and quietly in my sleep like my grandfather did - not screaming and shouting like the passengers in his car at the time." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Laura Llew