hello sinister. i'm replying. bron wrote:

it's just as if a person were to stay inside a building all day they'd never know where the building really was in relation to other buildings or even what part of the city they were in... it's like, maybe one day i'll remember where i am, and more importantly, who i am, and why i am who i am, and where to go next.

this is lovely, i thought upon my first reading of it. reading it over again, thinking i was surely going to say something about it at some point to someone or other (and why not the whole of sinister?), it reminded me of a conversation i had with someone recently. i think it started with my telling a boy story. i have a never-ending supply of those, all gems in their own right. and somehow everything shifted to beauty and what was beautiful, and how beauty can be measured by each person based on one's own understanding of it. and eventually i just stopped talking, and a little later i was sitting in the middle of my unmade bed, watching tears drip off of my cheeks and onto the blankets, making small wet splotches on the blue expanse while the voice on the other end of the line told me a story about a parasite in a man's body. and bron's reference to the buildings kind of reminded me of it. and i suppose i should tell the story at this point, but i won't, you see, because i feel selfish today. but i think the point of the story is that whatever is outside yourself and the world you create for yourself will always be different than what you imagine. and the differences between what you hope for and what you end up receiving are part of what makes the outside, the hoped for, worthwhile. and beautiful. you are who you are because you have nothing else to be. i think. maybe. maybe. xxx lou _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+