While suffering the plague of Tantalus awaiting the release of TBWTAS and its painfully slow shipment to me in the Philippines, I have devised a compelling (or at least amusing) plea (in loose list format) for Belle and Sebastian to broaden their tour to include Southeast Asia. Fans You have proselytizing fans in the region, to wit, listees Oon in Thailand, Richard and Glen in Hong Kong, as well as me and my cultish converts in the Philippines. Posh digs Because of the lingering Asian economic crisis your British pounds would be worth wagonloads of local devalued currency. You could all stay in swank hotels and not feel guilty since your indulgence would help our ailing economy (except in Manila, of course, where band members could kip at my flat - please?!). Beyond Melodymaker Ancillary instrumentation is something that makes Belle and Sebastian special. SE Asia would offer an opportunity to broaden your repertoire of neat noises. Here are some suggestions from the Philippine archipelago: Lunggo: imagine a cylindrical tuning fork made of a hollow bamboo shaft. It is held in one hand and slapped into the palm of the other. It vibrates and makes this interesting twanging vibration. Kulintang: sort of like a glockenspiel for drummers, kulintang means “gongs in a row.” Played among the Maranao, the Maguindanao, the Tausog and the Manobo tribes, it is basically a melody instrument consisting of eight gongs placed horizontally in a frame and tuned to a flexible pentatonic or five-tone scale. Lots of cool plectrum instruments of Spanish origin but Filipino flavour such as the bandurria, laud, octavina, mandola, guitarra, and bajo de unas (supplanted today by the regular double bass). Oon, I’m sure, could tell you about all the possibilities in Thai instrumentation. Tarsier on Wheels Sure the Discovery Channel features all of the fascinating evolutionary animal mutations left in Australia by Plate Tectonics because they are really cute. But Southeast Asia and the Pacific Rim are teeming with oddly endearing creatures (not many marsupials or hoppity wallabies though which is too bad). Some examples of what we have in the Philippines are: Kolugo: a charming flying lemur with sad eyes The nasty and belligerent national symbol, the monkey-eating eagle Tarsiers: saucer-eyed, insect-eating midget monkey. Four to five inches tall with a giant tail, the tarsier is very cuddly. It looks a bit like a micro raccoon and hugs tree trunks like a koala bear but with these cringe-worthy bulbous tree frog toes. Butuki: like geckos, they are harmless lizards that helpfully eat our malarial mosquitoes. They range in size from cute micro ones that scuttle up and down the walls to son of Godzilla okay a bit of hyperbole, but there are some frighteningly gigantic ones with suction cup feet that latch onto people in the rainforest and have to be cut off! Endangered sea horses: B&S could do a moving ballad called Judy and her song of seahorses, dedicated to a species that is quickly disappearing from Philippine mangroves to make herbal potency extracts (Asia’s ancient answer to Viagra). Note: Sorry, but we have neither foxes nor snow. General Exoticism Wacky tropical fruit like hairy rambutan, spiky (and pongy) durian, aubergine-coloured mangosteen and even buko milk (juice from the baby coconut, tastes a bit like how I imagine Tigermilk) You’ve got C&A and Marks & Sparks but we’ve got a huge chain department shop called S&M. Its like a dead Nietzchean metaphor; nobody (alright, a few expats snicker) knows what it stands for anymore. (a question for Americans on the list: what does A&W stand for? I saw a bottle of that root beer here but can’t figure it out) Calamansi Honey especially for Honey (calamansi is a tropical citrus fruit like a miniature cross between a lemon and lime but not in a cheezy lymon Sprite way) Even if I haven’t convinced Belle & Sebastian, perhaps I’ve won over some Sinister listees? Oon, we need an Amazing Thailand equivalent post! And, Richard, you and Gloria could forward Hong Kong as a venue and then host the B&S gig on Lamma Island!

From the mayhem that is Manila, Claire

P.S. To add to the list of list songs, my favourite is Trams of Old London by Robyn Hitchcock. Here is a gratuitous excerpt: On a clear night you can see Where the rails used to be Oh it seems like ancient myth They once ran to Hammersmith Trams of Old London Taking my baby into the past Through Electric Avenue, Brixton Downing, Southwest, too Teddington and Kennington Twickenham and Paddington In the Blitz they never closed Though they blew up half the roads Oh it hurts me just to see ‘em Going dead in a museum +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +---+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+