Take a walk in the park, take a valium pill Read the letter you got from the memory girl But it takes more than this to make sense of the day Yeah it takes more than milk to get rid of the taste.... It's ME - Laura Llew! Once again, I am posting in order to help your delete finger become more dexterious. See, what kind of nice milkmaid I am? Last time I rambled to your poor aching ears, we were in the midst of preparation for the best holiday ever - Halloween. Now, we poor Americans are in the throes of an election gone awry. If you think about it, Halloween and elections are quite similar. They both start out with promises of sweetness but only end up leaving you ill and doubled up in cramps wishing it would all just GO AWAY. Stuart Murdoch is in my Journalism class! Oooh, aren't you simply chartreuse with envy! Of course, I still haven't figured out what he's doing pretending to be a 20 year old American named Andy but he still looks cute in those tight teez. I let him know that I was on to him by commenting that he indeed looks like Stuart Murdoch (which he knows since it's OBVIOUSLY him). Of course, he played innocent and ignorant - acting as if he had never heard of himself! It was silly but I played the game, even offering to make him a tape of Belle and Sebastian. (He's probably just wondering if I'll pick what he thinks are his best songs on there.) I must say though that he has an American accent down really well. I hope that he and you will excuse my lack of list spirit in not participating in the Auction. I was going to send something in but then the deadline hit. That was that. However, I think it's lame that we can't bid on items with other services instead of money. Stinkin' capitalist! That is fine if you're GEORGE DICKIE but otherwise. Well, I guess it is going to charity so I can't really complain. (Ha! I can always complain). I still want to offer something even if it can't be bid on. So, I made a list (surprise surpise) and if anyone wants anything from here - let me know: *Ask not what you can do for Llew but what Laura Llew can do for YOU* 5. Lots of listees have mentioned that they can't drive and so I will patiently tutor you in the ways of the road. I will even teach you how to use the turn signal which is a something that is still commonly undiscovered to many drivers today. 4. Haven't you always wanted a crocheted bookmark? They're twee! They're dainty! They're knot knitted! I would offer to do something larger like a blanket but I'm currently in the midst of a PINK CAPE for prissy chrissy. Oh yes! What a masterpiece it will be and it shall soon overtake JenOwl's Pedro as the most talked about cape on the list. 3. Speaking of JenOw - what kind of hoodlums do they let run around Scotland fracturing sweet girl's skulls with large rocks??? I guess I can relate since in school we also had hard kids, except for they were known as 'rednecks'. In math class in high school, I had a similiar experience when this boy who really hated me (for still unknown reasons) became so enraged one day that he TORE off the top of a desk and threw it at my head. My face was turned at the time and so I didn't even see it coming. Plus, I have a tendencies toward head injuries anyway. (I once had three concussions in 6 months and I should simply stay inside where I belong). Anyway, my third offer is to either RESCUE Jen from that mean evil place or move there to become her bodyguard. I can enroll in her school (hey, if I was on a WB show I would still be a freshman in hs so I can get away with it) and protect her. I'm pretty wimpy (I had to have my little sister open a jar for me yesterday) but I have sharp teeth and I can bite hard. And, no, that last thought cannot be used for an offer for anything else. Sorry. 2. I'm quite skilled at picking lots with an emphasis on apartment door's deadbolts. With the exception of one night of boredom and deliquency when a friend and I snuck into an apartment, rearranged all of the furniture, and then quietly left - I only use my skillz for good. So, if you have a habit of leaving your keys behind or I dunno, accidently swallowing them - I can help! AND the #1 thing that Ll can do for you: 1. Make a list for you! (Though Mick Cooke certainly wouldn't put it on the B&S top ten list. If MY pixies list isn't good enough for him, nothing ever done by me will be!) I would actually have offered to go on a roadtrip (which I love!) or invited whoever to come & stay at my house here in the mountains North Carolina (since people always seem to visit the wrong parts of the US). However, I would have felt bad because that's the kind of thing that depends on the person bidding. I couldn't really handle any psychos, phreaks, homicidal maniacs, or anyone else who closely resembles members of my family. But boy do I have a crocheted bookmark that is just SCREAMING your name! Everyone else claims not to be listening to B&S lately but all of my cd slots are filled with the ear candy that is Belle and Sebastian. I keep falling in love again with different songs. This week it has been Sleep the Clock Around, Dirty Dream #2, and after being serenaded with this song by a cute boy yesterday - Judy and the Dream of Horses. I'm currently trying to make another B&S compilation tape since the one I made last November is obsolete because of the new album. However, I am having *so* much trouble and nothing is clicking. So, if any of you had made similar mix tapes and found a really good string of b&s songs that flow really well pleasepleaseplease let me know so I can steal it. After all, I am making a copy of this tape for "Andy". Laura "meeting all those Laura Llew needs since 1977" PS- Sorry for confusing the 2 andreas in my last post. They're both darlings though and so its easy to get them mixed up. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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