Dear bum-chums, Yesterday I went to the football match and it was Real Sociedad against Real Betis Balompie and it was good and afterwards I was within spitting distance of World Cup flop coach Javier Clemente, but I didn't spit because he seemed like a very nice chap. We made eye contact, I think he wants to sign me up! Then I went to the hootenanny and it was Bob Dylan and it was good too, a little bit country, a little bit rock'n'roll. We didn't make eye contact because there were too many people, but I could tell he was looking for me. He unveiled an achingly beautiful acoustic ballad called "Like Stuart on the Telly" which went down frighteningly well. I could go on and on, but won't. I'm a bit worried about the faling standards onn Splat's Bowlie page. I mean, no one's pretended to be Stephen Pastel yet! I was particularly moved by a message from a nursery member, whose major league sinster debut I look forward to immensely. I also tried to go to the List Crush site to ballot-stuff in favour of David so that he'd come back, but I couldn't get to the site. Some of you may think this is ethically dubious, but I'm sure the votes are heavily weighted anyway. Smiley Culture - the first and best rapper. Fluffy Sarah - first class lady with a first rate product - I believe the ball is in the car boot - BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! A special off-topic "huzzah!" for my neighbour Mister Olazabal, who won the Augusta Masters yesterday. I knew he'd won because there were fireworks in the middle of the night. I bet they don't do that in Largs when Sandy Lyle wins. Or in Kirkcaldy when Jocky Wilson wins. Speaking of which, many thanks to Trousers for his detailed round-up of what makes Camber Sands a beacon for the mentally unhinged. I'm really jealous of everyone who's going now, but out of the goodness of my heart, I've come up with a plan to make it even more fun for everyone - a competition! I'm not sure what the prize will be yet, but it'll be something crap. The aim of the game is simple - to take a photo of one of your chalet-mates in the nude! Or if that proves absolutely impossible - on the bog! It doesn't matter whether your chalet-mate is a boy or a girl, but if it's your daughter I'm calling the police. I'm the judge, and my decision is final. Photos will be judged according to the following criteria: full-frontalness genital deformity nipples (massiveness thereof) When you've had your photo developed, send it to me at the following address: Paul's house, Edinburgh, Scotland. If Trousers is willing to co-operate, the winner will appear as a glossy centrefold in a forthcoming edition of Trousercuts - the magazine for men who don't have to try _too_ hard. Thanks for Ailsa's report on the Glasgow picnic. I yearn for more details. Come on Keith! Sister Disco +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "nambling pambling rice pudding & crochet holiday camp +-+ +-+ gangwanking whimsy-thon" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+