It's been a long and lonely broken glass, broken forehead and missing mouse strewn treck, pal, but the missing slipper is now on my foot. PARENTAL GUIDANCE To be honest here, I'm in no mood for the sanctimonious sh*t. F**k off. I've had a sleepless night troubled by the bending moments of the world's longest bridge based - beaucoup moi - on a revolutionary spinal torsion system clad in anti-drag co-efficient techno glow worms and Christina Aguilera is making a damn politico correcto racket in my ears and it's all my fault. As I said I'm in no mood for argument: this is just the way it is... bear with me if you want: if not; don't: as Mamet quoted: KISS keep it simple stoopid. I'm about to make things bl**dy complicated. Plique; the fold. Just thought I'd add that in to confuse you. Com *pli* quated. See? OK. I'd be the first teenager to despise what I write as unintelligible nonsense but the difference now is, to hell with it I *know* better and I believe it is within my capacity to be, if not a 'grown up' in the conventional family-rearing sense then not least someone who's processed enough information to be both in thrall to the wonderfull results of the injection of some of the world's greatest fiscal economies in the making of teenagers as the new chosens and... distanced enough to put it in perspective: the ideology of youth, yung un, is not a wishing to be so; it is a re-treading of the boards with what seems like infinite power and if, wary as you may be it is true reaction: beware: striding before you in mock importance is a false prophet. Who, after all in their right minds would feel energy directed backwards except teachers? Forget passing the conch for a moment: just bl**dy forget it. So onto the prologue: There are certain circumstances... let's take, as an initial example Liz Burton to Michaelo Jackson. He is warped way beyond her dreams and as talented as that suggests. Both in tabloid hate mode- and who wouldn't be?- rout for these guys: the man can dance anyone's ass off and twicefold around the universe and we call the little shit a perv I mean give the guy a f**kin break. The morning sun is shining; is blinding me in bed in one of those 'God's Holy Light' moments in the circumstances that, drug-wise offer an affirmative awakening *WARNING STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS AS IF THE REST WEREN'T* of the cerebrum pleasure centers re-wired; and wait for it; I'm about to tell you here for there is action by way of 20 naked women, 20 jack daniels and SODA (not coke!!) and 20 strong hits of Brazillian tobacco. First up, some of the girls. THE GAMINE She has the perfect body. Her breasts in alignment with her bottom and the way she cocks her head side to side so with a smile and her crop topped hair: it's the cropped top that lends one to think Paris in the sixties... she almost has it were it not for the betrayal of not Americain French but lachrimose scotch and so... passing on (love you honey; really : ILOVE U) THE FERTILITY GODDESS That eloquence of dancing I mean she moves and swerves like you wouldn't believe then she, just to flatten you, makes a gravity high heeling manouvering defying thing with the mirror by the compromised lil' bar room space and, well... now she's in line of the air conditioning system that is blowing a storm in her locks as she; as she GLANCES at you. THE BRAINS Making up for all other deficiencies this girl is in the process, with a wink, to instructing some un-named fatal beauty in the art of '20's vaudeville: I'm a short guy but I'll be Tolouse Lautrec sort of short for more and more and more and WHEESHT! twirling knickers of bright red lace and, to catch up on the fatal beauty accomplice... it's doe deer territory: real gorgeous cute but in the spray cream on her inner thighs fun ... hell; pal. THE FIRE Whirling around the pole like a dervish. This incredible olympic capacity has a price, I'm afraid to say from a presbeterian outer Isles dressed in black sense. Comes at a price and this one is in a certain brittleness of spirit: each of us to match her impossible targets and,, WHOA! she made the top and she spins like, yes I've said it before but there's no time to catch up with this PHENOMENON. But as, before I could catch my breath: she has the unhappy expectation of things even greater than the magnificence of her wake. And now to the joys of the interactive TV system; the modernistimo disembodied sense of being. AH mean I'm bored of yer Marxist shit. I'm damned bored by it. I DO NOT BELIEVE. I'm sorry honey I don't. I'm trying in this old alignment of factz and esotericism to get at stuff and... let me tell you £20,000 worth of trans continental knowledge: WE do pretty patterns on the Woody Allen.. It gets little better; on the face of our pretty little planet. The bestest video on MTV's chill out channel. It goes like this: The elderly young at heart do their 'dance through joy' upper body not too excercising motions whilst: up at the top of the class is this SO GORGEOUZS .... i mean nonchalant blonde item so despairing; so good; so with it in her ugly dress. Ah'm keepin' it real: I'm a snob and I'll protect the shires from the infidels but I'll also borrow enough money to praise allah and the rest of them and I know they know I'm not enlightened enough but I'm on my way there and they and I know it. YOURS TRULY Gordon. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+