yippie ki-aye you mother fuckers somebody complained about there not being enough life on this list anymore, well let the narrow wizard use his magic staff (fnar fnar) to add a bit of spunk to the list. what follows is an account of my last two days, it should contain enough sex, drunkenness, stupidity and B&S references to keep you happy for a while. I guess it all started in the William Wallace on wednesday, I was with sexy ex pro tennis player Kathryn and gay boy Gregor and we were drinking pints of lager at a whole 1 pound a pint. As happens in these situations we started talking about sex, Gregor scared us with tales of 4 guys in a wood on the uni campus (he's a randy devil), Kathryn scared us with the amount of positions she's managed in one night (the demonstrations nearly got us thrown out of the pub), and I don't think those two are gonna let me live down the story of carpet burns, horse whips and egg whisks (just don't ask). We carried on drinking back at Kathryn's place and soon were so drunk that I had an argument with her and went home to bed. I was woken up half an hour later by Kathryn knocking on my window and so I let her in and popped to the toilet 'cos if we were gonna argue again the last thing I'd need would be asking for a time out to go to the bog. Once I'd visited the oval office though I found that she'd climbed into my bed so I stuck tigermilk on the sound system and got on with enjoying myself (and enjoying her of course). next day I was tired due to only getting 2 hours sleep and had a stinking headache so I went to my friend Hannah's place for some sympathy, her new flat mate was leaving just as I got there and she decided to feel my cock and tell me that she'd see me round sometime as she was going. So anyway I sat and talked to Hannah for a bit before she decided to cook for me, I was rather surprised to get rainbow trout with stuffed peppers and so after the meal I stuck around to (how can I put this) thank Hannah properly. Somewhat bewildered and tired I was in no state to refuse the offer of a night out with a couple of my mates that night (this was yesterday if you're not keeping up) and so we went to our favourite local club, we got there just before 11 'cos the drinks are cheaper then and ordered 6 drinks each. The girls at the next table had a similar cheap drink plan and this seemed as good a reason as any to start talking to them. Things are a bit hazy in my memory after this point but apparently I was seen snogging 3 different girls though I can only remember 2 and think that the third sighting was mistaken. Next we gatecrashed a party on campus which was being thrown for people on some silly management course, all the drink was free so we got even more drunk before the lads I was with stole a bottle of whisky and 2 bottles of wine and went home. I vaguely remember talking to one of my exes at the party and think I might have went with her for a bit but I'm not sure and I think I may have danced to get me away from here I'm dying but again I'm not sure. anyway I got up this morning and read a mail claiming that this stuff doesn't go on enough in the sinister realm so I thought I would prove otherwise. Oh and I just remembered some girl telling me that I looked like Hugh Grant at the party. This is starting to worry me 'cos she's not the first to say this and it's just not true. I wouldn't mind if I did look like him but I don't and the bastard is taking over my life. I think my stomach has now settled enough to actually keep food down now so I'm gonna go now. I'm worried about tonight though, the wine and whisky will be made to disappear by a certain wizard. bye for now owen With that the narrow wizard waggled his bushy eyebrows and disappeared in a flash of blue flame leaving behind only a strong smell of alcohol. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+