this is something i've tried so long to suppress. my tongue is patterned with perforations, ive bitten it so often. but i. just. cant . help. myself. must. rant... i dont know what it says about me but i always get a bit obsessed with my jobs and my conversation, such as it is, becomes weighed down with dull retail references. this is taking it a bit further... in a few sparkling weeks i am leaving my job in tescos, the leading british supermarket, and running off a bit far away to do something else maybe. so before i go and wash away the pain of the last 11 months, i'd like to revel in the worst moments just a little and offer some advice about how you, the customer, can make your shopping experience less traumatic for the foxy shelf-stacker girls in aisle 7. just because im putting out the catfood doesnt mean i want to know about your kittie's favourite meat. just because i put out cous cous doesnt mean i know what it is. im dumb just because i work in a supermarket doesnt mean i'm brainless and futureless. dont ask stupid questions like "where's the milk?" (its in the fridge durr) because im not allowed to swear at you. which isnt fair children, dont run. its dangerous and you bring out my killer instincts. let me swat you! men, dont do that stupid warbly whistling all round the shop.and if you do dont stand with your hand on your hip and do andrew loyd webber. its not ladylike. ladies, dont use this time to chat to people you havent seen for a while. you're fulfilling our gossip stereotype and setting feminism back metres. or something. and dont park your trolley sideways if you must stop. or i'll barge you. dont be bastards, when im carrying 24 Kgs of kitty litter let me go first. im only small. when i drop jars of curry on the floor and they smash and make mess, dont stare and say things like "oo look she's made a mess". it makes me blush. and want to swear at you. every little helps i hate it when posts turn into stand-up routines. and im not speaking personally cos i dont post, you know? humour me. i cant do those muso conversations. and i just know i'll regret it in the morning. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail - Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+