I feel a bit silly now. I worry that maybe I offended the masses (as we all know full well that Robbie--mod that he is--wouldn't say anything that wasn't profound and didn't speak the universal humanity within us all) in my comment about men wearing skirts. So I'd like to make this clear: Men in skirts are all-right, and though I think they tend to look worse than they do in trousers (or nothing), all that amounts to is that *I* don't fancy men in skirts. But I don't fancy most men anyway. In matters of taste discrimination is a good thing, right? Right? Right. I retrieved a list of everybody who was on Sinister, in a bit of a moral plight, and I consulted my magic 8-ball as to their opinions on my becoming something of a Sister of Mercy (but a dirty one). It seems like, although nobody has yet expressed their approval, nearly everybody believes that this would be a good idea, and would like to take part. 1226 out of 1227, in point of fact, if you'll believe that. But who was the holdout? Will 'perfect--he told me so!' Porter. I turned my 8-ball his way last of all, as I feared such a thing would happen, and that his claim of wussiness would hold true neath the spectre of such an overwhelmingly consistent display of popular opinion. But no! he had the pluck to stand by his convictions. And I respect that so much that I... ...officially renounce my affiliation with the Sinister Village Centre for Libidinous Rehabilitation. It's for a good cause, really, as I spent several hours at the library confirming what had hitherto been just a horrifying supposition. /me baits you all viciously. He is such a tease! That's something that I will unveil to you shortly, but needs some work yet. I also feel like I wasn't warm enough in my praise of our dear Miss Scarlet's gallery. Its degree of fabulousness is outweighed heavily by Her own personal stock, for showing us all a fantastic (and much-needed) lesson in web-mistressing. The title?: Give the people what they want! --which, in this case, turned out to be HER PANTS! Yes, dear folks, not 24 hours after I gently pointed out that the gallery was surprisingly modest, Erica Herself remedied the fault, and rendered a great service to philogynists everywhere. And did you see the way she wears that hat! What elegance! What a neck! Don't worry, children, we're almost done. Somebody posted something about this earlier, at a point when I was far too idle to make note of it, and now I've simply lost interest in trying to *do* anything. But I would like to announce that I will be making a special public appearance at the Beulah/Gomez gig at New York's Roseland next thursday night, as part of my 'Striped Jeans Retirement Tour 2000'. Yes, I learned another one of those lessons that children ought to learn from TV but I somehow missed: if you're pulling trousers a bit down your leg and they spontaneously rip, although you can repair the tear without much difficulty, it's probably good to just let them go. So, to those of you going, and would like to be shocked and offended beyond your wildest dreams, e-mail me, if that's your thing. Or if you show up and see a boy in line with red hair, blue eyeliner, and a My Bloody Valentine shirt, go up and slap him. Or spit in his face. He probably deserves it for thinking something nasty, past or present. He might even be me. But for those of you eager enough to e-mail me about this, I offer a special competition. The first 7 people to respond to this ad with 'I wanna be adored' in the body of their message (to be fair, 5 real-time listees and 2 digestives) will qualify for a special drawing. What will the winner receive? A detailed narrative of my preparations for that stop on the tour, on a mini-cassette, rendered in my very best Serge Gainsbourg voice. The runner-up will receive the very best vocal rendition I can give of a set of steak knives, done in my very best Vin Diesel voice. So act quickly! Ballots are limited! Content? I went record-shopping to-day. I flipped through every page of the April issue of Select, but when I got to the picture of Stu and Belle and the dog, I laughed so hard and so long that I felt I had to buy it (as I was standing two feet--literally--from the shop owner). I stopped laughing hours later when I realised that I had spent 8 dollars on it. But it *is* an adorable picture. -Paralis +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+