Hello again, yes 'tis me... aah... life's been really cruel to me... At our last episode.. erm, sorry, post, I told you about the macaroni dandy my aunt wants to marry me off to, Giovanni Gregorio d'Arnuzzio and about my cousin Theodor who I thought was a gay in the closet... Well, you won't believe what else happened that dreadful weekend in the country! One thing I have to say though: big Aunt Myrtles found out about everything so you can imagine. So where have we stopped? oh yes, dinner. Auntie has this obsession with dinner; it has to be served quite early, like 6pm. So after we finished dinner and after this episode with the good looking waiter, we thought with Theodor that we should go for a walk; we watned to walk over the hill to my friend Althea's cottage and hear all the other spicy stories about my wanabee fianc�! In his dreams!!! And of course Giovanni grabbed the chance to come with us after aunt Myrtles suggested it! The bluddy turtle!! Why wouldn't she leave us alone? So, we all set off to Althea's house to have some coffee; and of course there was no way we would hear any spicy gossip for Giovanni since he'd be there as well... thing is, Althea seemed to be quite fascinated by Giovanni's looks and she said that if I didn't want him she would have him! I said "well, he's all yours then; but how can you stand him? he's so sleezy! look at these eyes swimming in olive oil! And after all, you told me he wasn't that *gifted*"... but Althea said she'd check about that herself! To be honest, I was really happy with this development... So, I was quite cheerful as we took the way back to the cottage... Aunt asked me to play some piano whilst she was reading and my dad sank in great grand father's old regency style armchair with the worn out peach velvet tapestry, smoking his pipe and drinking some napoleon.. Theodor was there with us but when I finished playing that Chopin piece that auntie loves so much, I noticed that he wasn't there anymore... I asked to be excused and dashed out... I heard some noises coming from the stables! I tried to be really quiet as I saw Theodor peeping from the window into the stables... I went there walking on my toes and looked over his shoulder; he saw me so I had to make "shhh" with my finger on my mouth. I looked inside and there was of course, Arthur! You remember the gardener! he was standing there in the candle light, wearing almost nothing, well some pants only, and having let's say a shower! but he was just taking water from a bucket and throwing it over on his body! And what a body! I think Arthur is a fine specimen of man, or of how men should be... Theodor was watching breathless.. I could hear him holding his breath as Arthur was sliding his hand over his shoulders using a wet towel and a bar of soap... I think that Arthur knew Theodor was there watching him all along... suddenly we heard a noise behind us; we turned and saw aunt Myrtles standing there holding her riding whip on her hand; she pushed us away and looked through the window! she wasn't very pleased with the sight, nor with Theodor's excitement which was almost visible! She just dashed in the stables and told Arthur that he shouldn't consider himself as a member of her staff from that moment and then she came back and told us that it was time for bed... Did she stretch her neck? Did her eyes popped out? Oh God!! Yes! Both Theodor and me felt the colour strained from our faces and then coming back ferociously... Aunt Myrtles kissed us on our cheek and wished goodnight and then left. I saw Theodor dashing in the stables and putting a little piece of paper in Arthur's hand, then stroke his hair and then coming back to me... we didn't say a word! we just went to our bedrooms. I fell asleep thinking that I should talk with Theodor once and for all first thing next morning, and try to find a way to solve our problems and deal with auntie's authoritative manners... I don't know for how long I was sleeping when I heard a strange sound in the room! I woke up, turn on the lamb on my bedtable to come face to face with Giovanni!! Yes that sorry excuse of a man, had the nerve to sneake in my bedroom while I was asleep! He removed my covers and looked at me in an ecstatic way. I won't tell you what I was wearing, let's just say it wasn't much! I asked him what he thought he was doing? To that he giggled and said "cara, we'll be married soon; so don't be like that to your future husband".. to that I shouted "in your dreams, you italiano cornuto, bastardo!!" and to that he replied by trying to kiss me pushing me back to the pillows! He whispered in my ear "I like you this way; my little wildcat!". That was it! I thought I could get rid of him and be quiet about the whole incident, but that was more than I could put up with! I kicked him with my knee, on his you know where... and start screaming for help as he fell over the bed groaning! Theodor was the first to dash in my room; his bedroom's next to mine, then my dad in his robe and last aunt Myrtles! The maid came there too, but auntie dismissed her... everyone was looking at the scene frozen... me trying pulling my covers to my chin with tears in my eyes (what did you think?) and the wannabie lover (hah!) lying down on the floor holding his... yes... still groaning! She came there over my bed and said "shhh child! I'll tell Maria to make some warm milk for you; everything will be fine!" And me as I saw this as the only way out from my engangement to Giovanni, I grabbed the chance and started weeping holding auntie's hand and saying "Oh auntie, I was so scared! I never ever wanted to cause a disgrace to our family!" and burst into more tears! Aunt Myrtles stroked my hair and left the room saying that she would see to this matter first thing in the morning! Next morning at breakfast we noticed that Giovanni was nowhere in the house! Aunt Myrtles kicked him out... Maria, my maid, told me that aunt said to him that that marriage would never take place and she'd rather die than see her niece married to a pervert like him! Good Riddens Giovanni dearest! Arthur was sacked as I told you as she could never accept Theodor was to blame, and she certainly will never as long as she lives accept his homosexuality. I still feel very bad for Arthur... But I think that Theodor have already met him in Prague! Now he's trying to find a job for him at one of those gentlemen's clubs, preferable in Theodor's club! That's all for now. I hope I didn't bore you; my post seems to be so long this time; but I had to tell you all these, right? Right! Ok, I'm off now; I have a tennis appointment with Althea! take care all of you Pauline L. Shivers that makes sinister all quivers she's that aristocratic slag who lives and reigns in Prague __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail � Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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