Sinister, Has anyone else heard the appalling rumour that Robbie Williams will succeed Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, agent 007? My friends, we must take a stand. The time for liberal thought is at an end. The time for action is now. I propose that our organisation move underground. I have taken the liberty of devising a four-plan strategy to avert this terrible tragedy from ever taking place. But I warn you that each of these plans is more dastardly and desperate than the previous. And not for the faint of heart. I recommend that we split into four factions. If faction four should fail, then faction three will go to work. If faction three fail, then faction two will go to work. Well, you get the idea. Let’s hope it doesn’t have to go any further than that. Def-Con Four Operation: Dulux dragonfly Faction four will be under-cover operatives. They will infiltrate as many of the film sets as possible. When the movie is being shot, they will use paint guns (and red paint) to repeatedly shoot Mr Williams in the face. If James Bond appears to be fatally wounded in every single scene, it is my hope that film production will be cancelled. Def-Con Three Operation: Mutant monkey Faction three will consist of a small research team, led by eminent geneticist and sinisterian Rachel (sunnie_set). The objective of this group will be to develop a mutagen that will horribly deform Mr Williams. If he had for example, a scrotum growing out of his face or a tail, it is likely that the Film Company would seek out an alternative Bond. Def-Con Two Operation: Weapon weasel Faction two will gather intelligence, investigating the level of military firepower that is in the possession of current world governments and any weaknesses in their security that would allow hijacking or theft of such devices. It would then be possible to demand that filming was immediately and permanently ceased and perhaps that Mr Williams was (further) lobotomised or even executed. Def-Con One Operation: Armageddon ark Faction one will have the hardest task of all. It will be necessary for all members of Sinister to donate as much money as possible for realisation of this final and desperate arrangement. Negotiations will begin with the Russians and it is hoped that the acquisition of a large second hand space shuttle and quantity of nuclear weapons will be possible. It will then simply be a matter of taking off, nuking earth from space and colonising another planet. But, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Vive le revolution, Tim _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+