In the finest tradition of the Monday poem, I'm a day late after offering to do it. Oh well. Simon Armitage is a Yorkshire poet who many of you will be familiar with from the much-missed Mark Radcliffe Graveyard Shift. As well as writing 5 books of poetry, he has also written a fine play called "Eclipse" and he has a prose book out now called "All Points North" which is well worth checking out when the paperback comes around. I've taken this one down myself from an audio tape by Simon called "Wild Blue Yonder", so apologies for any mistakes, etc. and all punctuation is mine (never my strongest point). I always think his poems sound better when he's reading them, as you miss certain stresses when the poems are written down (he almost spits out the words "You baby" at the end of this poem on the tape). The poem was written around the time that Robin was due to be dumped from the Batman comics - Armitage feels that Robin was "linguistically at least" the more important of the two. For next week's, I nominate Chris Leonard on the condition that his poem doesn't contain the word "pish". If he hasn't been "it" already. Kid by Simon Armitage Batman, big-shot, When you gave the order to grow up Then let me loose to wander leeward, freely through the wild blue yonder (as you like to say) Or ditched me rather, in the gutter Well, I turned the corner Now I've scotched that "He was like a father to me" rumour Sacked it, blown the cover on that "He was like an elder brother" story Let the cat out on that caper with the married woman How you took her downtown on expenses in the motor Holy Robin Redbreast nest-egg shocker Holy roll me over in the clover I'm not playing ballboy any longer, Batman Now I've doffed that off the shoulder Sherwood Forest green and scarlet number For a pair of jeans and crew-necked jumper Now I'm taller, harder, stronger, older Batman, It makes a marvellous picture You without a shadow Stewing over chicken giblets in the pressure cooker Next to nothing in the walking larder Punching the palm of your hand all Winter You baby Now I'm the real Boy Wonder