this evening it's snowing. usually, i hate the snow. but it's not bad, not this time. i walked in it tonight. i strolled actually. i smiled and felt bad for all those people driving cars...because they had no idea what they were missing out on in the fresh open nighttime air. this evening. in my portable cd player i had a mixed trance cd my ex-boyfriend made for me just recently. track 5 is a tranced-out version of a song i remember from high school: 'ordinary world', i forget who sang it, it's a nostalgic song for me...i taped it randomly off the radio one day back in the 90's, and played it over and over again, till i taped over it. and then high school was over. this morning. my ex-boyfriend stole my heart and left me with a true love for techno about two years ago. we've talked on occasion since he left me, but not recently (except for when he randomly gave me this cd of his finest mixing work) so this morning, on my way to my first class, i was feeling light, i knew the sun was more inside my eyes than in the sky, and out of nowhere he drove by. i saw him see me as i biked down the sidewalk...i felt beautiful. he hasn't loved me for a long time. but for the first time, it was fine for me not to love him. for the first time, i loved myself...without him. return to this evening. tonight as the snow fell, it was perfect. ~~~dreadful word: "perfect" ~~~so i'll try not to use it again, but for the sake of this post, i'll use it just this once. my old lover's techno played in my ears, the falling of the cold wetness felt like kisses on my face, the massive white fingers of the bowing tree branches were begging gravity to lend them down just a little more...just to touch the ground in which they've been so curious about since the sky is all they've truly known, the uniformity of the ground of which the tree branches cursed me for stepping on...just because i could, the peace i breathed beneath my skin. random note of the day. in my class on monday and wednesday evenings there's a quiet boy who sits across the room. he's slightly pudgy, has fire red hair, a pink face, and wears a john mellencamp t-shirt on occasion. i wasn't impressed with him at all until tonight. he didn't do anything extraordinary, he just sat there as always. but i appreciated him. i don't know why. i just did. tonight it was frosty. tonight there was love. ---your mountain mama sweetheart X ***Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right*** ---Jerry. http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+