This having to narrate things is hard. it confuses me greatly. The reason I' m doing it.. The reason I'm telling you all this. I met Will in Edinburgh on Sunday as I had promised, and we took some trains -Edinburgh, Doncaster, Grimsby Town. The names of the railway stations fascinate me, even though usually they are just the name of the town/city. I make lists of the stations I've been to in my head. It's something like trying to remember the tracklist of all the Belle and Sebastian albums. In my head also I recite the story of the sleeve of If You 're Feeling Sinister. Once I did so out loud too. And sometimes I even recite posts. Even though I usually only read them once. On the train down to England I caught myself writing: "I don't mind trains. It evens out. I like riding on them. I don't like having them pass. Someone said it's the saddest sound." The days with Will were much more quiet than the ones before them, but actually that was a good thing. And they were sweet. And something I'll have with me for a long time, and something that makes me happy. We went to a Chinese restaurant with his parents after they picked us up from the station; we had both been nervous and a bit scared of me meeting them, but it turned out to be fine. Once more, I said to myself: things are never as scary as they seem from a distance. We went shopping in Grimsby, and to a dinner party where I met his school friends. We had decided to try and not talk about Sinister too much, but it wasn't of much use, someone asked 'so how did you two meet?', just after someone had mentioned the word Internet. Later on we went into town, and if you remember reading Will's Christmas 2000 post, you'll know what happened. Will tried to go with the group who would meet Amy (a girl he used to be in love and exchange letters with) but he tried not to make it obvious. Which means he made it quite obvious. Which was funny cause nobody cared much anyway. I sat back in the loud and hot pub, where as he said 'we looked like Sinister people, and stacked out' -which just reminded me of being in Greece- and I watched him talk with that girl and be happy. I watched her too, her eyes shining and her smile. And it was all so much like that post -I wasn't on the list on December 2000 but I had read it. And thinking of it now, it makes me think of how, when I was little, I used to make stories in my head in bed; stories figuring me and children from the books I read or the things I saw on television; how I always wanted to jump in the books and actually meet them. And how much what is happening now is like that. We had what he called 'a Sinister Christmas' -what made it Sinister being listening to Camera Obscura and talking to and about some of you. We stayed inside. On the second day of Christmas we walked around the village. On the third one, we went further away. We went to the beach, where, to my surprise, the sea was brown. We played with his dad's digital camera, me taking pictures of the beach and Will taking pictures of me. I remember the bus ride back: we were sat on the upper deck of the bus, on the first row of sits; it was raining, there was water on the windscreen which made shapes blur, so all you could see was colours. When we came back we made badges, some of which are already famous. Some others have sheep on them. On the fourth day we went to Sheffield and me John Jennings, who probably thought we were mad. But it's okay cause we are mad, and he seemed to be having a nice time anyway. We wandered aimlessly around, text messaged a few people to make them feel jealous or guilty for not coming, only to get replies like 'why are you in Sheffield?'. It was cold, windy and sunny in a bright way. We walked around a bit more, had lunch, visited some galleries, walked aimlessly around, and then decided to take the tram to the shopping centre and back. Decided means we all said 'I don't mind either way' and seeing as we couldn't think what that other way would be, we took the tram. Then we walked around aimlessly -sorry, to the station. John's train was the only one of the um 20 trains that were leaving at that time not to be late. Ours wasn't one of them. The next day, having run out of Christmas, and patience probably, and things to do in and around Grimsby, we caught some more trains. Doncaster, where we waited for an hour and a half in the freezing cold, but once again, it was bright. There was some snow on the railtracks and our train was extremely late. We bounced around to keep warm, and Will explained to me things about train signals. We got to Edinburgh, rushed to his flat, dropped our stuff, fed the cat, and run back to the station to catch a train to Glasgow. As we were running, we heard a big noise, and I looked up, and saw the biggest firework I've ever see through the stations glass roof. In Glasgow we went bowling with Kirsten, Calumn and Richard. Richard drove everyone back to the centre, after a while of driving around trying to find the motorway entrance or something like that, while all three Jamie, Will and Richard giggled and tried to read signs. We were listening to the Magnetic Fields. I mention this cause I've been in three listee's cars this time, and two of them were playing the Magnetic Fields. Does that mean something? We took a train back to Edinburgh, where we spend the next day wandering around almost aimlessly. We went to a photography exhibition and we bought presents for some people on the list. And we concluded the world is unfair: we wanted to go on the snow-slide, but we weren't allowed. We were too old. I got a train back to Dundee. On the last day of the year we took some more trains -Will from Edinburgh, me and Rachel from Dundee, cause we had decided to see Beanz DJ. We arrived in Glasgow quite early, so we had to wander around aimlessly. I almost sulked, but then I decided not to. And it was a good decision. Rachel had the phenomenally irrational idea to take the underground and go to the Tap, the pub were we had had the pre-gig meet up. I thought it was crazy to take the underground to somewhere we didn't know if it was open, but we did anyway. And it was a good thing to do. We got tipsy, on the way back to the underground station, the one after Hillhead, but whose name I don't remember (Will says: Kelvinhall); I remember walking in the darkness and talking and making them giggle, but I don't remember what I was saying. I remember saying the Greek alphabet is better looking even though you can't really write letters joint, but that was while waiting at the station. We got the underground back to the centre, and it was still early, so we wandered around more. We got chips and walked down by the river, and excited I remembered it was the exact spot I had lied down on in July. We looked at the river float and I thought it was already 2002 in Greece, at times like these time zones seem weird. I tried to call my mum but it didn't work -not that I minded. Then we walked on a river bridge, looked at the trains go by on the next one -where trains running at 10:30 of the 31st December?- and took some photos. We also tried to call John. This didn't work either, and I minded a bit. But then. as I looked around at the city, frozen and shining in the dark, I suddenly realised that, where I anywhere else, that was the place I would be wishing I where. For a while, that thought was overwhelming, it made me ecstatically happy. We walked to the 13th Note Café just to wave to Cal. The girl that was with him and Will seemed to have the same idea: they both kissed the glass at the same spot, on of them on the inside, one on the outside. It looked as if they had decided on it before! Anyway. We didn't like the music Beanz played -at least I didn't- so we sat upstairs listening to some other people DJ. But the music was a bit too loud and Rachel and Will were fairly shy and nervous, and we didn't talk much. So Rachel decided we should take turn to say stories. So New Year found me, glass in raised hand, telling the story of how I got together with my ex boyfriend. I think the music stopped and everyone clapped and cheered; I paused; we decided to go downstairs for a while. Downstairs we found Cal, whom we hugged -then we hugged each other too. Then we went back upstairs, but I think I forgot to finish the story, and I did so much later in an all-night-café. But maybe I'm confusing the stories I told. Anyway does that mean that I'll be telling stories all the year? Cause I think I'd like that. The next few days were quiet again. Me and Rachel stayed in Dundee and had fun. We once drunk champagne in the morning; a boy had brought it: sometimes boys have good ideas! We watched a few films, Gregory's girl being one of them, and I fell over giggling when she told me that Gregory is the perfect boy: he's happy, and has a good imagination. But thinking about it, she's right. We went out for a meal with Rachel's last money -she had lost her card- and on the way back, looking at the pavement, we were saying how Dundee might not be as shiny as Glasgow, but it wasn't half bad. And how being together was great. And that I'll move. And how we'll always travel to crazy places to see Belle and Sebastian. And how we'll cry the day they split up -'Well, you will", I said. "But you shouldn't. Stevie will make a band, and Stuart will write a book". "Yes, she said, Stuart should write a book". Then we looked at each other cause we know it's funny to talk about other people's lives like that. And probably not right. But we know we don't mean it really. And I hope they do too. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+