sometimes i wonder what the non posting people do as well. i think shuddering, "i could not POSSIBLY be one of those horrible cliquey people" the thought of someone being afriad to talk to me because i'm too cool, is frankly hilarious and laughable. it's a bit of an ego boost being online where i'm able to bluster and rant and rave and act like a badass, when i'm actully this short nearsighted incredibly nerdy shut-in girl who's never been kissed. i guess that's the definition of the sinister list aint' it, harhar.... all i need now are some NHS specs and a cardigan collection and i'd be well set. isn't this a laugh..... i'm acting so funny and retarded and i dont' care. i feel like i'm in a play or something. sorry i'm having one of those existentiual moments where everythign seems ridiculous and surreal. i got two vvery nice cd's this week. one is Illusions, Ute Lemper does the songs of marlene dietrich/edith piaf. it's GGGGLLLAMOROUS!!!!!! *siiiiiiiiigggghhhhhh* the other one is More ABBA gold. and it's fucking extreme dude. it will blow your fucking mind. it's the shiznit. especially "head over heels' and "Cassandra" ****Yet Another Installment of "AS THE BREAD MOLDS" your favorite dyke-ish soap opera. when we last met our young protagonist, it was all standard. girl meets girl, girl lusts after girl, girl meets bulldyke, bulldyke helps girl get with girl. then it started to get weird. bullke lusts after girl, bulldyke gropes girl, girls get majorly pissed at bulldyke. girl number one puts a black magic spell on bulldyke, after promptly vomiting. but what of girl number two--will she escape the nefarious machinations of bulldyke's perverted obsession, or will living the same apartment complex get to be too close for comfort? and what of girl number one's unrequited love for girl number two? will it rend their friendship at the roots? adn what of the vomit inducing thought coursing through her head? will her witchy spells be the perfect revenge, or will instant karma gonna get her? tune in next time, when she'll be out of town anyway and none of it will really matter. Darling Blakie says:

tem 2. female masturbation. this has always bothered me. no, not the act itself, but the fact that every bird that has ever discussed it always denies ever doing anything. what a load of pish! it's similar to denying one's own ature for fear of embarassment.

that just irritates me. like they're SOO above it all. with guys i guess it's easier for them to talk about it. cos their sexuality is pretty much hanging out for all to see, so it would be dumb to ignore it. women still have to deal with all these Puritan issues. we're way behind, because back in olden days, they stil thought that women had like no sexual desire, so they didnt' teach girls anythign about it. so it's like ingrained in our culture i guess. i for one am glad i'm a girl. and i've discussed this with ppl. women are sexually superior. now dont' go getting all pissed at me. they ARE. women can do awesome sexual feats that men can't even touch. and we have a highly holistic erotic capability. polymorphous if you will. women have the only organ in the human body that is made exclusively to give pleasant feelings. what does that tell you? any girl who says she don't know, is either lying or weird,they're missing out. it's practically a crime. it's your own body you have a right to understand it. guys are brought up to enjoy sexuality, girls are taught to always be polite. it's rubbish. (if you don't mind me saying so) it's like either extreme, boys are taught to go too far, girls are taught to pretned they don't have naughty bits. I know i was. and i did. ladies heed my words, it will mess you up. i mean, ignoring it will. Look at me for pete's sake. you wanna turn out like me?? i didnt' think so. Love, i dont' know what to say, i think it's different for everyone, i dont thin there is any absolute rule in love, except you gotta trust and be honest with anyone you love, without trust and respect and absolute honesty, there is no love, only fake acting and pretend feeligns. whether there is "one" true love, i think is a moot point. if there is, you will find them. it's silly to think "what if my true love is some Sumatran bushman i'll never meet". obviously it's only love if you meet the person, love only happens when you get to know someone, love grows and it's about changing. or if it's not, then you'll be about flirting, and that' s good for you if you like it. i just don't make up rules about it. attraction and love involve so many different parts of ourselves. you can go Jungian and talk about the shadow, I do. anima, animus. gender lines......... who can say? you change, maybe love can change, or maybe not, maybe you'll find another one, maybe not, it's all the same. i tend to think that what happens happens. like "wherever you go, there you are" i dont' see any use trying to figure it out on a large scale. i don' think that is like predestination, it's just that you make one choice after another, and things roll down like dominoes, and you work with what you get. maybe in some other dimension you made another choice. i'm not really too picky. my world view is pretty messed up though, i dont' expect any of this to make any sense so i'll jsut shut up, cos i dont' realyl like talking about love.............. i'd rather be experiencing it. "All is full of love, you just ain't receiving" --bjork oh yeah, and ll that chemical garbage, may be true in this world, but you gotta reach for the stars if you want the real deal know what i mean? science may be good for you right now, but ain't gonna help you none when you are flying out there in the cosmic ether, dreaming your own reality. and no i'm not on acid right now. there is the pheremone of immediacy, then there is the something beyond, you have to be strong to see it though. that's something i believe. I am a witch, LJ (former roomie with carlos castaneda) *hug hug* to alyssa....... http://www.members.tripod.com/rebelstrange "ABBA is the pinnacle of Western civilization." --Stephin Merritt SAVE MST3K!!!! http://www.mst3kinfo.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+