Autumn's great isn't it? Not only do you get crunchy leaves underfoot and an overwhelming desire to hide in leaf piles and jump out at passers by, but it gets nice and cold, you can wear scarves and coats, which are great, and you can put the fire on and get all TOASTy. That along with the fact that it's got two consonants next to each other *one of which you don't pronounce!* makes it a top season. Mind you, it's a dangerous precedence, this consonant stuff. What will those secretive Season Boffins in their labcoats think of next? A season spelled such that you don't pronounce *any* of its letters? That wouldn't be easy. Oh my god I've just thought, what if they've invented a season already which doesn't HAVE any letters and NONE OF US KNOW. Help. Autumn in french is Automne, which is arguably even better than the english version. It wasn't quite Automne in Paris last week, but it was fairly leafy I can tell you. Sorry we didn't catch up with any french listees while we were there, but we only really decided to go the day before, because all the petrol was running out in the UK, and there was stacks of it in Paris. Next time I'll mail a few people, for back we shall go, because Paris was sooper. We hung about the Marais district being quite gay, and after a phone message (it's fixed) from David Moore, popped in at Saint Chappelle, which was truly merveilleux, even under deep cloud. Mr Moore's french is quite good isn't it? I reckon he's the hot favourite to start a french B&S list. Oon messaged me too from Thailand, which shows what you can do with an elephant wired up to the mains, and Starry taught me the french word for "flu". And we had a running commentary of the last day of Big Brother from the quite delicious Mark C, accompanied by lady-in-waiting Lucy and hommes des affaires, Martin and Ally. Martin bet a fiver on Craig with Linda and won, but I bet she won't pay up. The other great thing about Autumn is that all the new releases come out roundabout now, so if you're gainfully employed you can stock up for Winter (two adjacent consonants, but sadly you pronounce them both) like a squirrel, or if you're a stoodent or a schooly, you can go on a massive stealing spree in Woolworths. I did the squirrelly thing, and bought some stuff in Virgin, France (tenuous B&S connection: they used to sell B&S in Europe before Jeepster became Jeepster International Enterprises Incorporated) including some things I'm not sure are released in the UK. A wonderful LP from Brazil by Bebel Gilberto called "Tanto Tempo", who turns out not to be related to Astrid (bluffing here) but the daughter of Bossa Nova master Joao Gilberto, who I haven't heard but suspect I should have. It's a lovely LP. And also someone called Pink Martini or something which is again latiny but seems to come from the US. The sticker on the cover proudly announces it contains a track off a Citroen advert called "Je Ne Veux Pas Travailler", a sentiment I can entirely agree with after my return to work. You've all probably had this CD for ten years. Back in the UK, still gathering nuts, I was pleased to see Cinerama's LP which I popped in my pouch, but haven't actually listened to yet, and thrilled that the Montgolfier Brothers LP was out on Alan McGee's new label, but a little disconcerted when I got home and realised it was a re-release of the one I got on import. It's worth listening to twice though, particularly "Pro Celebrity Tarting Around". Squirrels have cheeks, not pouches, don't they. Anyway enough of all this seasonal buffoonery, because when I got back to Castle Sinister, I found an envelope with quite the best artificial rose I've ever seen contained within. This is the promised prize for the theoretical competition we could theoretically have if someone theoretically suggested one and offered to run it, as per my last mail. Steve Carsmile suggested a painting competition, I suspect nude, but has gone ominously quiet about it. I think it's a good idea though. Honestly, this rose is the tops, it has plastic thorns and everything. No wonder the BBC keep upping the TV licence fee and talking about introducing adverts. Does anyone else want to run a silly competition and judge it? Please someone suggest something or I'm keeping it, and wearing it behind my ear at work, which will get me the sack, then I'll have to stop running Sinister, and then you'll all have to join the Status Quo list. Akela! We'll do our best. Honey xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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