Hello Lovely People, Has somebody been saying bad things about the Pastels? I can't be bothered looking at the archives. But Stephen Pastel makes me wet myself. And I'll defend him with my forehead if need be. Actually, I did pop into John Smith's while enjoying some festive frolics in Glasgow and he wasn't working. Such a shame. I licked the records I guessed he'd handled as a consolation. Just in case you were wondering what the gooey stains on the Silver Jews' sleeves were. Don't get too excited. Anyway, somebody managed to convince me that the festive spirit for 1998 was Morgan's spiced rum. Well nobody at my aunt's thought I was being very festive when I locked myself in the toilet to die after a prolonged bout of vomiting at what was meant to be a gentle family soiree. On the plus side though, my father has a very small bladder and urinated in his pants leading to an hilarious evening of entertainment consisting mainly of pointing your finger at the bald bloke and shouting "pishy drawers". That actually passes for sophistication in Aberdeen. It's that kind of town. Aberdonians being tight-fisted bastards too, I never bother buying any pressies for anybody. The short-arse ginger fucker got me some very, very fine records though and I'm listening to them now, which just about makes getting up before sunrise bearable. Unfortunately, I think my visit to the Fopp January sale confirms the fact that a crap record for £2.99 does not actually constitute a bargain. My sister's gone and married into a family of huns since I was last in Glasgow. Quite a shock to the system that on Christmas day. Oh, and yes, I do make a fine cheesecake. I make a rather tasty Mediterranean vegetable stew with grilled hallumi too. If you're ever in Manchester and feeling a bit peckish then be sure and call round. I'll be the one in the kitchen making lots of lovely, lovely things. I was going to pretend that Celtic footballing sensation Craig Burley rubbed my feet then my back then my belly then my breasts seductively at a party I was at. But I don't know who Jessica is and she may think I was taking the piss. Which of course I'd never dream of. And anyway, then you'd all know the lithe athletic persona that I've adopted for the internet is really a big lie and I'm actually a fat bastard. Did you have a "nae pal party" this New Year? I did. Love...John +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+