ON GREETINGS Screw greetings, I'm going to dive into this fair and square. ON MYSELF AND THE POSTAL SERVICE I was reflecting on my contributions to this list last night, and it took all of ten seconds for me to realize just how inadequate and altogether forgettable I am. Aside from my gallant apple butter bonanza, I might as well be an All Saints fan (shudder). Since no one will remember this, then, I'm making a very obvious plea for mail. I know I'm a pathetic creature, but can you blame me for liking packages? No. So if you like spending money on postage, or perhaps you have excellent penmanship, send me something. Anything. A tape, a letter, a severed body part - whatever you see fit. I promise I'd send a tape, a letter or a severed body part back, depending on the case. Keep it in mind kidlets. I'm nice and I always find pretty stamps to use. ON MY FATHER AND RANDOM PHRASES This is the first of two rather feeble B&S related comments, so be prepared. My parents were bickering over something the other day, and I think my mom wanted my father to do something like yell at the neighbours, which she wouldn't do herself as she felt my father deserved such a dubious task. I don't understand this part of the story, but the key thing is that my father, unwilling to follow my mom's wishes, said:"Well, talk about being Johnathan to your David!" Whoa. "What the hell did you just say?" is what I said, in less-than-polite terms, to my father and he repeated it. I was confused. What are the odds of such an obscure turn of phrase being uttered on the eve(ish) of a certain single's release? I don't even understand what he was trying to say. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that my father said this, because this is the same man who once asked my mother to call him a melon. "what teh hell for?", asks my mother, "So you can be my melon-cally baby!", replies my father, sagely. It's comments like those that destroy any semblance of filial love. ON FREE MUSIC MAGAZINES AND THEIR FUNNY COMMENTARY I was reading this magazine called Exclaim the other day as I waited for the bus, and i Noticed a review of the much-maligned Kings of Convenience. Anyway, the author writes: "They remain a cross between a sexier Simon and Garfunkel and Belle and Sebastian without the annoying self-righteous attitude." At this I L-A-U-G-H-E-D uncontrollably, knowing just how annoying comments like these are, especially to certain members of this list. How positively G-O-T-H-I-C! It's now my goal to be as cripplingly (?) self-righteous as possible, so THERE! ON CARNIES They're very frightening. I work in a park and the carnival has come to town. They've begun setting it up and they are a unique breed of people. One carnie came up to me, presumably as I was the first woman he's seen without a beard in a while, and he says:" EH baby! I can get you a free ride on the Zipper any time you like! I found this to be curiously sophisticated double entendre for a man of such bearing. Oh well, at least the carnies find a niche in a park full of the sexually misadventurous and the mentally unsound. ON ALL THINGS UNPRONOUNCABLE Several years ago I was working in a department store, and this man with a very exotic accent came up to me and asked me for help finding some shoes. He was very nice and I was very nice and we got him a nice new pair of shoes. Then he was asking me where a good record store was, so I told him. Then he asked me what music I liked so I told him that too. He said to me, upon hearing my preferences, that I should try to hear some stuff by this band Sigur Ros (apparently he was from Iceland after all). I didn't think much about it. Now, of course, they are positively SOUGHT AFTER! I thought I'd give them a try. I must say, they arene't half bad. It strikes me as strangely efficacious make-out music, but I've no proof of that. I just wish I had looked a little harder for them when that man told me to, and I wouldn't feel like such a dolt for jumping on the bandwagon now. ON GORDON I, too, like this curious lister Gordon. I know I'm a bit late in owing up to this, but I'm slow of mind anyway. I like to think that if I met him in the street (which I doubt i EVER will) I could call him Gordie just once. He probably wouldn't like that though. He strikes me as nice, (goodness, I'm being positively stricken in this post) though for all I know he tortures kitties in dark alleyways. I doubt that though. I very much liked Gordon's handling of J. & D. The next time you're perusing your Bible Mr. Gordon, perhaps you could relate to us the story of Ruth. Ruth is my confirmation name, but I can't for the life of me remember why. I went to a pagan high school, so I've forgotten the little biblical knowledge I may have ever possessed. Keep up the good work Gordie! ON GENEVIEVE Where the hell is she? She has such a lovely name. ON CLOSINGS Screw closings, I'm just going to leave, fair and square. Yours, positively, Marybeth +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+