ian...learn to proof-read.. who is ravi 0shankar? ravi's irish cousin perhaps... famous for his series of 'sitar jigs'. mine's a pint of guinness, with a twist of nirvana, barman. not the band. not any more. and the pixies were better, anyway. also, i didn't mention what i put the * after the carsmile-libel for. i guess i'll just leave you to wonder. or, more likely, to forget it. xx ian

great rock n roll myths #1 - yoko ono broke up the beatles.

it was a rainy night in the late 60s, a little while before the split happened for real. john and yoko were relaxing in bed, as they rather enjoyed doing. paul was composing a ditty downstairs ("'tum tum te tum' or 'tum te tum ta'?"). george was meditating with ravi 0shankar in the bath tub. ringo was eating wagon wheels and playing with his train set.

it had been a hard day in practice. none of them were really on speaking terms, and yoko's presence hadn't helped. it wasn't that they resented her creative input, it was that she kept pinching things from the studio. the beatles, ahead of their time, were very into recycling. they had saved up all their milk bottles, and put them in a pile by the door, ready to take to presto the next morning. yoko, being an anarchist-troublemaker, decided they would look better for her art installation.

after a day or so of tensions over the disappearing items, the beatles had refused to practice any more and had gone their separate ways. yoko, meanwhile had continued to work on her art. her new piece 'mother's milk' would be a feature at a posh new york gallery, as soon as she'd finished it. it would feature 100 bottles, many of them smashed, some of them containing unpleasant substances. the critics would either love it, or dismiss it, depending on who they were being paid by.

it was paul who discovered the consequences of yoko's crime. john and yoko were singing to each other about paper bags. george was sitting in the sink with the buddha. ringo was eating bananas and stroking his beard when, suddenly, a scream echoed around the house...

'oh no, i don't BELIEVE it. YOKO ONO BROKE UP THE BOTTLES!'

and it stuck.

to this day, everyone blames yoko. including paul, who never quite got over the environmental consequences of her actions.

next, chapter #2. marianne faithfull and her ma's bar.

well, don't you live and learn, eh?

probably not.

i'm too old to be spouting such shit, but still i spout it. i'm a middle kid, love me or fuck off.

i don't really mean that. its just a slogan.

i'll go back to my melted toblerone

xx ian

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+