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[Cairns]

For once this has some notable B&S content, but I've gotta be quick.

Last night we went to Ben Folds Five in Bradford, and my pal Ross 
interviewed the man himself for the paper. Glowing with pride from 
the piano man's compliments about his hair, Ross later informed us 
that, not only is Ben Folds a massive Radiohead fan (and...), but 
that he absolutely adores B&S, and is  desperate to get hold of 
a copy of Tigermilk. How we laughed as we thought that, whilst he may 
have a multi-million dollar recording contract and a top twenty hit 
in America (is this true, Yanks?), he may never have heard 'She's 
Losing It'.

Oh, I had an idea to brighten up the devotees' trips to the rainy 
city. Why don't the people who know the place kind of, um, give 
pointers as to good places to visit during the weekend, things to do, 
etc. Like 'Why Don't You', only minus Declan Donnely.
I'll begin, if you like:
#1 - visit Vinyl Exchange and annoy Julian.
       Not just because it really is the swankiest plastic emporium 
in the North (apart from Picadilly), but because Julian, the Smile 
guy, works there sometimes.
       He'll probably be downstairs, smoking and filing U2 albums or 
something, looking grumpy.  When you go in, you've got to ask him 
whether they've got 'Tigermilk', upon which he will smile and say: 
"Ha ha ha, no, but, actually, I have a copy, of my very own, on 
vinyl, it really is superb, I've had it ages." He enjoys saying this, 
BUT, if every other fool in there asks him the same question and then 
giggles, he'll start to get paranoid, which'll be really funny. Okay, 
maybe it won't, but at least I've shown some initiative.
Also, he hates students, so go on about your course and cheap booze 
in unions and that'll be cool, too. Actually don't, this is cruel, 
'cos Julian's a top bloke and once let us sleep on his floor. In fact 
this whole idea sucks. Grrrrrr.
Finally, did anyone else laugh at Capt. Bob Stanley talking about 
Marianne Faithful on 'Brit Girls' on Saturday.

I'm off now,
Joseph
xxx

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