Sinister: unfair kind of fame

[Richard Edwards]

Here's my useless thoughts on recent list subjects, skim as applicable:

1) Rock Legends Part 374: The Jeepster Story

Yes, Orlando were signed to the label in December 1995, but sadly didn't
release anything for boring money-related reasons. From Sarah to Jeepster to
Mike Alway/Geoff Travis' Blanco Y Negro. We have taste, what can I say? Mark
Jones had a Post-It by the desk that said "SKIN UP YOU CAAAANT", which I
always wondered about, but was too afraid to ask.


2) Claims to Fame

I think it's funny that a mailing list for a band that (commendably) rejects
the fame and PR machine so much should be concerned with prostrating
themselves before "names"... it seems Baudrillard was right. Still, the Jim
Morrison one was pretty impressive. As for me, I could relay many anecdotes
and scurrilous tales since entering the evil music business. But here's a
few: I've been on a homosexual TV show, playing guitar with the words
"Miserable Spice" written up my arm. You could read my lyrics on Ceefax as
the song played. Noel Gallagher came over to me at an aftershow party once
when I was in full eyeliner and shiny suit mode, and was so charming I won't
have a bad word said against him. My friend Howard tried to chat up Gore
Vidal the other week when I was with him. Oh, and I met Russell Harty once.
He took the mickey out of my gran's Weight Watchers autograph book. And my
album has had great reviews in Gay Times and Penthouse UK.

But my proudest moment to date is this: the latest issue of the Pastels
newsletter, "Pastelism", namechecks me as cool. Noel who?


3) Tigermilk copies

Amelia Fletcher has one. Blanco Y Negro has at least one. Ian Watson, Melody
Maker writer, has one. Sandy Blair, internet wizard friend of mine has one.
Harvey Williams, who thinks B & S are the Orchids without the beerguts, has
one. I don't have a copy myself: but like the Pooh Sticks song, I've got it
on tay-ay-ape. Along with everything by the Ronettes. I've got "Falling and
Laughing". The original Postcard version. I've got The Pastels' "Songs for
Children". Sky Saxon's solo album... Sorry, I'll get a grip. 

I do recall "Tigermilk" coming out, and (heresy alert!) really hating the
sleeve. To me it looked like some bad heavy metal group was behind it. Girls
with no clothes on fronting boys' music. It made it into Select magazine's
corner of dubious sleeve artwork, I remember. I still think the cover image
is a bit creepy... the childhood purity of cuddly toys sullied by the adult
nudity of breast-feeding. But then, the Tellytubbies give me the screaming
ab-dabs too. Thankfully the subsequent B&S artwork has proved to be much
loved in my world. But who cares what I think?


4) Sarah 100 Party - Why Violence Is Entirely Justifiable Against Music Critics

I'm always pleased to see the old "Sarah 100 Tim Chipping/Neil Bouquet"
ruckus rearing its lovely head on internet mailing lists over two years
later. Tim, the signer of Shelly (cat no SARAH 98) and Orlando is a
hot-headed firebrand of a waif who spent his formative years surviving on a
rough council estate in Poole, Dorset. You can all sneer safely behind your
computers now, but I dare you to cross him in the flesh. 

Neil out of Bouquet frankly had it coming to him, even his ex-girlfriend
congratulated Tim afterwards. It was a vicarious thrill for many good people
and a blow against the myopic, kneejerk, lazy critics and cowardly little
shits of this world. I was honoured that he got himself thrown out defending
a record I made and I'm amused that Tim's actions clearly upstaged the rest
of that evening's tweefest (Bristol, summer 1995). There should be a blue
plaque on that boat. 

I myself am completely incapable of violence, I take it out on myself and on
guitars,  which is a shame because there are so many names on my dartboard
these days. Thoughts of hurting certain journalists, for example, cross my
mind daily. Any Americans here willing to get me a Uzi? I can swap.... (snip!)

Belle and Sebastian leaving the NME out in the rain? Great stuff, but next
time if Murdoch and co want to gang up and "do a Bjork" on a journalist I'll
happily hold their coats.


Don't phone, it's only a bit of fun.


dickon
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