Sinister: Lemurs ROCK!

[Stuart Gardiner]

> >Did you know that lemurs (Belle and Sebastian's mascot from now on)
> >are unable to hang from their tails? Poor little things! And
> >their noses are...hang on a minute! This could make a
> >cracking quiz - we haven't had a quiz for a while...question
> >one - how big was the now extinct biggest ever lemur? The
> >answer comes as quite a surprise.  Question two - how did
> >lemurs get to Madagascar? The answer comes as quite a
> >surprise.

Why do lemurs want to hang from their tails?

The biggest ever lemur was of course the dreaded Lemurus Maximus. During
the dinosaur era, they walked round Asia (well rolled actually, they were
too big to be able to stand up) looking for prey. The dinosaurs were so
suprised that lemurs could be so big, that they died of shock, and the
lemur ate them. Unfortunately one day a picture of one appeared in a T-Rex
school textbook, so eliminating the element of suprise, and they died out.

The first lemurs got to Madagascar when a passing martian spaceship picked
one up by mistake, and dropped it again. It came as quite a suprise to the
lemurs as well.

> 
> In Noah's Ark?  The number 46 from t'Market?  They jumped?  Hopped?
> Skipped the light fandango?  I give up.  Back to school for me, I
> guess.  And what about their noses? Don't keep us in suspense, boy.
> Belle and Sebastian's mascot?  Why stop there?  A fire-breathing lemur
> should stand with pride on their coat of arms, with an inspirational
> motto (which I can't think of right now).
> 
Surely it would be better if B&S had some small cuddly Scottish animal for
a mascot, rather than a small cuddly Madagascan animal. How about a
haggis? They're notoriously difficult to catch, due to their immense
speed, but the baby females are ridiculously cute and twee...

Back on topic briefly, the Letter of the Week or whatever they call it in
this week's NME is by someone praising our heroes for not 'playing by the
rules' when dealing with journalists. It's then followed by a very shirty
reply by Johny Cigarettes saying basically that if B&S won't talk to the
NME, the NME won't help them by publicising them in the future, and he'll
go into a corner and cry for his mummy, and sulk for the rest of the day.
Or something.

But then, lemurs are much more fun aren't they?

Stuart G

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