Sinister: Wouldn't you like to get away?

[Business Traveller]

It was a day much like yesterday: in fact, it probably was yesterday.
Strange reports had reached Simon's ears; Stuart Murdoch, the singer from
Belle & Sebastian (Neal and Simon's favourite band), had apparently been
seen playing football! How could he? He must stop this strange behaviour at
once! As people whose destinies had been shaped by the fact that neither of
them could kick a football to save their lives, Neal and Simon had hoped
that Stuart too would similarly be a kindred spirit in this department. But
no. He disappointed them, but, they hastened to add, only in this
department. 

Simon hoped that Belle & Sebastian would be impressed. He liked to think
they had had real value for money from him because he was on the 'Stone
Immaculate' mailing list, and because of this he had been able to convert
dozens of people to the worthy cause of B&S.

Simon had also heard from some of the lucky few who'd been to see Belle &
Sebastian perform live that Stuart was quite an attractive fellow. Simon
was thrilled to discover this for himself when he'd seen a recent photo of
Stuart in the NME.

At that same time Simon was in pursuit of a charming-sounding guy who'd
mentioned his love for Belle & Sebastian in a personal ad. Consequently, as
the band could be contacted through the magic of cyberspace, Simon wondered
if it might be worthwhile leaving a message for this mysterious young man
on the band's website. The message read:

'If you are 31 and live in NW London, and hate parsnips, then why the fuck
haven't you written to me, you bastard?!.' 

For reasons best known only to Simon and himself, Neal had known about the
Union Chapel gig only after it had happened! How sad for him! Then he'd
discovered, much to his increasing annoyance, that they had gigged in New
York - Neal's favourite city after London. He desperately hoped that Belle
and Sebastian hadn't been there from the 22nd of August through to the 29th
because he was there then! Neal wondered whether they would play anymore
gigs in New York that year because he was going back there again for
Thanksgiving. Had they loved Manhattan the way that he did, he thought to
himself. And whereabouts in Manchester had they had scheduled to play later
that year, and when precisely; he knew it was sometime in December, but no
more than that.

Neal was concerned that Belle & Sebastian were troubled by inquiring fans -
he hated to think he might be a bore, even though he was never being
boring. He had bought the '3 ... 6 ... 9' 12" on vinyl recently and had so
looked forward to getting home to play it loudly. When he did he was not
disappointed.

Good God, he thought, I'm thirty years' old and haven't behaved like this
oh, for some 12 years, since those heady Smiths days. How pathetic!

But he knew they both adored them.
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