Sinister: Monday Poem

[poetryplace2]

Hello boys and girls

Still no word from Tag, eh? And just as upsetting: no word from Susannah
the Tormentor, currently sunning herself in Cyprus. Do these people have no
idea of their responsiblities? I appreciate the Duke sending 5 postcards to
make up for their shortcomings.

I'm a bit concerned that Keith feels the need to hide his sensitive side,
denying the fact that he is organising a PICNIC for his INDIE POP CHUMS. I
may be coming over all Julian (or is that Tag's job?), but I feel the need
to "out" Keith as the shy retiring type he is...

Exhibit #1: When I met Keith in Glasgow recently he was clutching a book of
paintings by the noted Abstract Expressionist Mark Rothko.

Exhibit #2: Keith played Gregory's sister's boyfriend in the film of
"Gregory's Girl". What a sweet lad.

Exhibit #3: Keith wears black polo necks so he looks more like his hero, Mr
Sensitive, Lloyd Cole.

Exhibit #4: In an Edinburgh pub recently, Keith spent the evening drawing
in a girl's sketchbook.

Exhibit #5: Keith has the largest collection of Winnie the Pooh merchandise
outside of Japan. He is especially fond of Eeyore.

Well, there is more, but I'll leave it there for now. Unless, that is,
Keith continues to try and act "hard" to impress his "big mates".

Oh, before the poem, can I tell everyone about the new club/social thingy
that David and I are organising? Every Friday from the beginning of May:
top sounds and films, kitsch board games and live bands. 7.30-11pm at the
Poetry Caff on Betterton Street in Covent Garden. Entrance is £3.50, but if
you mention the sinister list you get in for £2.50!

This week's poem was commended in this year's National Poetry Competition.
It's by Billy Childish, who has knocked around the fringes of the London
art/rock/poetry worlds for twenty years now, and apparently is a big
favourite with Kylie Minogue. You can check out the winners and all the
other commendations at the NEW! IMPROVED! poetry society website:
http://www.poetrysoc.com.

Trousers
xxxxxx

Billy Childish 
A sad donkey and a fat man smiling 

Speaking as a man who doesn’t eat cheese
and who paddled into 2nd place in the
Kent Schools under-18s Slalom 1975.
(Three entrants only) 

Speaking as a man who doesn’t own a television set 
doesn’t read daily papers
and the radio remains clicked to off. 

Speaking as a man with twelve fillings,
four verrucas
and one O level (Art grade A) Walderslade Secondary
School for Boys 1976. 

Speaking as an artist of dubious merit
and the writer of lewd verses. 

Speaking as a man who caught Paul Weller’s plectrum
thrown into the audience at Battersea Town Hall,
Jubilee Week 19977. (Support group The Boys) 

Speaking as a man who carved The Reclining Admiral
and Van Gogh Without a Moustache.
Apprentice stone mason
Her Majesty’s Dockyard Chatham 1976. 

Speaking as a man who wore second-hand clothes
up until he was 33. 

Speaking as a man who tried to run down Johnny Rotten
on the pavement outside The Roebuck Public House, Kings Rd
London 1978. (Drunk in charge of a push bike) 

Speaking as a man with eyes the shape of little fishies,
the hands of my father and somebody else’s legs,
I see that truth only comes staggering up the mountain side
like a sad donkey teetering under the weight of a fat man smiling.

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.             Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave
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