Sinister: picanica

[bradford]

well, i had a belle and sebastian picnic today. it was wonderful. the
only problem. i forgot to tell anyone. i went out to chehaw park, the
local zoo and park type place. i packed about five picninc baskets full
of bologna sandwiches, couscous, and goldschlager. after about an hour
of waiting for others to show up, this litle kid wandered over and said
"hey, mister....will you play with me". i said "scram, youngun" and he
started crying, so i gave him some goldschlager.
by four o'clock me and the kid were climbing up the howling monkeys cage
drunk as shit going "whhooooooooooooooooooo" like the monkeys do. then
the kid fell down and scraped his knee and said "FUCK". this was
overheard by some delightful old grannies looking at the baby bald
eagle, and they hurried over and said "well, i never....a drunk five
year old using such profanity"
so the kid goes, "aww, shut up you hairy whore"
and one of them has a heart attack. and then we hear over the intercom
that there's a missing child in the zoo and the mother is looking
frantically for him and there's a reward. so i look adoringly at my new
friend while he's puking in the gator moat. i'm thinking....."hmmm,
reward" (i was too drunk to think of much else). the kid comes over and
grabs the last bottle fo goldschlager and down it down and goes
"bbuuuuurrpp......hair of the dog that bit me"
and then i realized what i had done. so i ran off, neevr to see the kid
or the handsome reward ever again.
and when i got back to the table, all the sandwiches and couscous were
gone.

i'm planning another one next weekend.



> 1) what is your favorite animal?  think of 5 adjectives to describe 
> this animal, why you like it or how it makes you feel.  (doesn't HAVE 
> to be just adjectives, but description of what it means to you)


sloth.
sugary, wet, comely, grainy, see-through


> 2) what is your favorite color?  again think of five adjectives.  it 
> can be flexible, maybe you have two favorites or whatever...


mauve.
red, kinda red, dark, is that a hint of purple?, sexy


> 3) what is your favorite body of water?  it can be ANYTHING - ocean, 
> cup of water, rain, shower...  and youe guessed it, 5 descriptions of 
> how it makes you feel.


toilet.
loved, cared for, horny, infatuated, obsessed


i hate goodbyes.
-brad
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.             Ascolta, questo è pish, io sto andando lasciare
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